It Starts With a Question
by xxxDreamingflowerxxx
Summary: A series of connected one-shots about Touka and Kaneki. Multiple genres will be present, depending on the chapter, but the major one will be romance. Rating got changed due to that factor.
1. It Starts With a Question

I'm back after weeks of doing nothing and this time I decided to contribute to the Tokyo Ghoul fandom! I've been obsessed with the manga since October, while my friends kept telling me to start reading it for months, I don't know why I didn't do that sooner. XD Anyway, after scrolling around for more fanfics, I got impatient because I wanted more, so I thought, why don't I write something myself? So here is a small Touken one-shot. I may make it into a series one-shots with connected events. :) Depending on the readers of course.

So enjoy! I'm going back to doing homework and waiting impatiently for the next raw of Tokyo Ghoul RE and season 2 of the anime.

I'm not sure if it's clear from any grammar and spelling errors, since I wrote this on my iPod and well the program I use on the computer for grammar, spelling and punctuation stopped working properly.

So enjoy guys and tell me what you think!

BTW: This takes place between volume 3 and 4 of the manga.

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><p>It starts with a question<p>

The chime that hung on the door, signalled that another customer had left satisfied. Today was a quiet day compared to others, only a few customers had appeared, which was a good thing, because it meant no running around from one place to another for orders.

Touka sighed as she leaned against the wall, staring outside at the people passing by, despite the season, it wasn't such a cold day. Mid-November, sure a harsh wind once in a while and the trees had almost lost all their leafs, but she could go out in a jacket and not freeze to death.

Her attention was drawn to a small child who kept skipping happily with some kind of sweet in her hand, licking it repeatedly. The teenager frowned, she always wondered what humans liked about sweets, it's not even that healthy for them. Then again, she could say the same thing about all the other human food. Yoriko once tried to talk her into having pizza together after a long day of finishing their homework together. She almost gagged, but deep inside she was curious about how the humans tasted the food, what was their definition of sweet, sour, dry or salt.

She kept wondering, until her thoughts got interrupted by the sound of the door opening and chiming bells. She looked up, wondering if another costumer had arrived, until she saw the all too familiar eye patch and sank back in her position. "Oh, it's only you." The high school girl mumbled.

Kaneki sweat dropped "Also hello Touka-chan." The boy stopped as he glanced around the almost empty coffee shop. "It's surprisingly quiet today."

Touka only answered with a nod. "The manager went out to get more coffee, he should be back soon."

"I see..."

An awkward silence fell over the two as Kaneki returned in his uniform. Touka just kept staring outside the window, ticking her finger against the counter.

The half-ghoul glanced at his colleague uncomfortable as he tried to come up with something to break the silence. "Uhm, Touka-chan..."

"How did you used to describe human food?"

The college student blinked at the girl's sudden question. "What?"

"When you were still human, how did the food taste?"

Kaneki backed away nervously as Touka got a bit too close to his taste. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's not easy to explain. All human food has various flavours and everyone has a different taste. It depends on what you like and dislike."

Touka frowned. "So you're not going to explain it?"

"I can try, but it's not easy, especially since you can't experience the taste of human food as humans can."

Without any warning Touka grabbed Kaneki by the back of his collar and checked in case there were any customers, which luckily for her weren't and dragged the boy upstairs. "We're taking a break." She responded before the raven-haired male could ask anything.

The female ghoul pushed Kaneki on the couch, in the room where Hinami used to sleep before she moved in with Touka and gave him a strict stare while crossing her arms in front of him. "Tell me how human food tastes to humans!"

"Why do you want to know in the first place?" Kaneki asked.

"None of your business, dumbass!"

The boy sighed, he should have seen it coming. He decided to give in to the tomboy's demands, he figured if he didn't, she'd beat the crap out of him. "Human food has different flavours, you could say it's similar to how human meat tastes also different depending on the human."

Touka nodded slowly.

"Humans distinguish flavours into sweet, spicy, sour, salt, bitter and more. Those flavours can differ in strong, mild, dry and even a mix. Snacks like sweets and chocolate are mostly sweet in flavour, while chips and such are more salty. Junk-food is also mostly salty, but high in fat. Vegetables have a soft flavour..." Kaneki explained as he tried to remember the times before the incident that changed him into a half ghoul.

Sadly the guy got interrupted when Touka smacked his face against the couch. "I can't understand a damn thing you're saying! Try to explain it in a way, even ghouls can understand!"

"Uhm..." The boy sweat dropped.

The ukaku ghoul snorted and let go of her colleague's head. Of course, how can I ask that of an idiot who refuses to eat humans and survives on sugar cubes and coffee only." The girl slumped down on the couch and sighed. "Just forget that I asked you such a strange thing."

"It's not strange." Kaneki answered softly.

"Hah?!" Touka turned to the half-ghoul and gave him a look.

"To be curious about the things you can never experience... It's not strange, even humans have such desires." The teen's face was slightly flushed and he was scratching his cheek awkwardly. "And I really want to help you, but it's hard to describe it. Flavours aren't something solid and, I think even humans... Taste the same thing differently. No one is the same, so the things they experience, be it taste in food or anything else, are different to every individual. I guess even to ghouls the same type of coffee tastes different." He turned towards Touka with a gentle innocent smile.

The highschool girl scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Is it still strange for you?"

Kaneki crocked his eyebrow curiously.

"To not be able to eat human food anymore and taste it?"

"I guess it still is." The boy admitted. "Once in a while I still wake up in the morning, wondering if it was all a dream, but the moment I see my empty fridge, I know it isn't, well somewhere I still have trouble with accepting this way of life. My favourite hamburgers have become my least favourite, together with everything else I used to eat. What was supposed to be healthy for my body, became poison." The raven-haired half-ghoul chucked, while scratching his chin awkwardly for a second time. But, in return I got to meet you all, the manager, Yomo-san, Kaya-san, Enji-san, Hinami-chan and you Touka-chan and that's not bad.

The ukaku ghoul stiffened when she felt his back against hers, she didn't notice how close they've been from each other. "I-idiot." She mumbled.

They just sat there, enjoying each other's presence as uncomfortable as it felt for both of them. Until Touka suddenly stood up, letting poor Kaneki fall on the ground. The boy grunted and clutched his sore head.

"I'm getting us some coffee, I'll be right back."

"Um, alright." He answered weakly. The moment Touka left the room, he allowed to rest his head on the couch. And let out a deep sigh. He didn't know what got into him to say such things and Touka for once was... Being a lot less mean that normal... Maybe he was hallucinating? He quickly shook his head, trying to convince himself not to have any ideas, something probably happened at her school. He turned to face the window and took off his eye patch. He stared at his half-visible reflection. His eye looked normal as if he was still the same old, but he knew that it wasn't the case. "I guess I still have trouble with accepting... My current self..."  
>He rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes, relaxing his shoulders and focusing on the sounds outside.<p>

After a while he slowly opened them when he felt something on his shoulder, to be more specific, warmth. He turned his head to the left just to be face to face with a warm cup of coffee.

"Let's just say it's on the house." Touka smirked as she sat down next to him.

They both took a sip at the same time. Both looked content by the taste of the drink.

"I, guess I'm a little bit envious of you..." Touka admitted. "You were able to live as a human for the first eighteen years of your life. Without the fear of being hunted down every day, you could taste and experience things I only can dream of. Sometimes when I'm at school and see how my classmates enjoy themselves as humans... It makes me feel a bit..."

She stopped in her mid sentence as she noticed how engrossed Kaneki seemed to be, he was staring at her and it made her feel uncomfortable. So she did what she normally did, she smacked him on his face and pushed him off the couch. "W-what are you staring at, idiot?!" She quickly turned her head to hide her blush, anyway, let's go back. Our customers are probably waiting downstairs." The dark-haired girl quickly stood up and left the room, leaving Kaneki there, speechless at the girl's absurd behaviour.

He blinked a few times and slightly touched his face. Touka called after him, demanding to go downstairs and he quickly snapped out of it, running after the girl with a smile plastered on his face.

"What are you smiling at, dumbass!" The teenager sneered.

"Ah, nothing. I just thought that it was nice, to have a moment where we can share our troubles and just relax."

"Don't get so full of yourself shithead! It was only a one time thing! Don't start believing that I'm suddenly soft and weak on you!" She barked as she passed the university student and continued to work.

Yes, it was only a one time thing. 'Stupid Kaneki.' The ukaku ghoul thought. 'Making me act like a weakling.'

She didn't look back at the boy, his smile was still present as he continued his work. Touka had no idea that it wouldn't be the last time, nor would both of them know what the future had in store for them.

* * *

><p>After-note about the chapter: I don't know why, but whenever I'm hungry, I always get ideas for fics, this one was also influenced thanks to my gluttony. I also belief that at some moments people tend to have the urge to come clean with whatever is bothering them to a friend, even Touka. She mentioned before how much she wanted to be like humans and like every teenage girl, so she'll have her moments where she's fussing about small things or her curiosity keeps her thoughts busy. I still have that very often and they sometimes they're about the most useless or ridiculous things, I'm probably not the only one.<p>

Anyway, thanks for spending some time on reading this little fic and my rantings.


	2. Comfort

Finally! I have finished the next one-shot! Since vacation has finally started, I could finally finish this one-shot. Thank you for your patience and hugs for those who've reviewed, favourite and followed this fanfic. You guys bring me so much joy. Hopefully you'll like this one even more! It's more on the angst side, but it also has more fluff in my opinion yippee!

As I stated in the previous one-shot, these all happen in the same universe, so they're all connected chronologically. So Kaneki and Touka are growing closer!

Also Merry early Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year!

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><p>Comfort<p>

"Hmp, time for a little taste."

Kaneki coughed out blood the moment Tsukiyama pierced his stomach.

The koukaku ghoul stared at his blood drenched hand and placed it in his mouth, savouring the flavour of Kaneki's blood. "Trés bien! I have never... experienced this taste ever before... It's a deeply intertwined harmony atop my tongue!"

He placed his hands together in front of him. "Shit... it's better than I expected... Ho... however..."He glanced back at the beaten up half-ghoul. "Now I want to find a good topping all the more... I don't want to finish 'Kaneki Ken'off just like this...!"

Kaneki hardly paid any notice to what the ghoul said to him, the pain of his broken arm and the whole in his stomach kept his thoughts busy enough.

Touka tried to lung herself at the Gourmet, laughing a kick at him, but Tsukiyama grabbed her leg with ease.

"Kirishima-san... at that time, your coldness was wonderful. But right now, you're no good. Somehow, the light in your eyes was lit."

He plunged his kagune through Touka, making her gasp.

"That's unfortunate, Kirishima-san." Tsukiyama smirked. "There was no need for such a thing to happen to you."

All Kaneki could do was stare in horror.

**"But, you're interfering dinner." **Tsukiyama growled, while starting to laugh, his kakugan activated.

Kaneki mustered up his strength, but he could only move so slightly. "Tou...ka-chan...!"

**"This is getting more and more fun."** Tsukiyama commented.

"The half-ghoul gritted his teeth. "Stop it...! If you want to eat me then come over here and do it!

**"Hahahahahaha! I'll be over shortly and I'll include a cut of the girl's meat meat along with it."**

"Why do you so simply..."Kaneki hissed in pain before continuing. "Throw away a person's life as if..."

Tsukiyama looked over at the boy in half-amusement. "Were you intending to start spouting human-like concepts such as the value of life...?" He walked over to where Kimi lay, placing his left hand on the altar. "Isn't it arrogant to put a price on it whether it's higher or lower, Kaneki-kun? We are just bags of meat. The weak bow down and the strong devour them."

Kaneki tried to get up again, but the pain was overwhelming and he hardly had any strength left. He could only sit there and watch as the Gourmet returned his attention to the human girl. **"Rather, if you compared them to all living things, it's humans who have shaved away the most lives. We are different than them. All we can do is kill humans."**

Tsukiyama turned to Kaneki, a creepy smile plastered on his face. **"Well then... Bon appetite!"**

* * *

><p>Kaneki shot up from his bed, completely drenched in sweat. The half-ghoul tried to capture his breath, but his body wouldn't calm down. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real, I'm save." The boy repeated in the hope to calm down.<p>

He slumped towards the bathroom and splashed water from the sink into his face. He was slightly startled when he looked in the mirror and noticed his left eye changing slightly. He rubbed his eyes and checked in the mirror again, only to find nothing out of the ordinary. The 18-year old went back to bed, but found out that he wasn't in the mood to sleep at all. With a frustrated groan, he hid his face under his pillows and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>The following day was like most of his days, excect that Kaneki had trouble with concentrating on his classes and even fell asleep, to Hide and the teacher's surprise. None of them said anything about it, since Kaneki performed very well, but during his shirt at Anteiku it brought worry to his friends.<p>

"...a...ki... neki... Kaneki!"

"Waah!" The boy quickly rose from his half slumber state and stared at Hide who was giving him and add glance. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes, of course I am."

His friend frowned. "Really? Because you were sleeping in class. I don't mind you taking over my notes, but you've also been slacking off at work. You've spilled coffee twice already and Touka-chan seems to be getting nervous."

Kaneki turned to find the girl glaring from a distance. "I guess I haven't slept well enough."

"Don't tell me you're reading books through the whole night now? Geez, I know how much you like books, but don't overdo it. You'll scare away all the cute girl!"

Kaneki sighed.

"Kaneki!"

The two friends turned to Nishio who was leaning at the door leading upstairs with Touka next to him and signalled him to follow.

"I guess I'll be right back. I probably get scolded for my lack of attention." Kaneki said awkwardly.

"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow." Hide waved as the half-ghoul disappeared after the door.

The raven-haired boy silently walked into the room where Nishiki and Touka were waiting. "Go take a rest, you look worse than shit." Nishiki said.

"Uh, but I?"

"At this rate you're creating more work for us."

Before Kaneki could protest Touka threw a blanket and a pillow at his face. "If you need anything, we'll be downstairs. The two left like that.

Kaneki stared at the pillow and blanket. They probably where aware that he hadn't recovered after the battle against Tsukiyama. The boy sighed and collapsed on the couch, feeling the weight of his body increase with the second.

* * *

><p>He found himself in a dark place, the sound of Tsukiyama's laughter ringing in his ears.<p>

"Eat Kaneki-kun, eat! That way I can enjoy myself to the fullest by eating your at the same time! Grande!" Tsukiyama yelled in delight.

Kaneki froze as he felt some warm liquid pouring from his mouth. He cleaned his mouth with his sleeve, only to notice that it was blood. 'Ki...mi... sa..."

The boy froze, the liquid felt warm, but it wasn't as satisfying as it was suppose to be. It actually felt disgusting, like vinegar, but with a very faint sweet aftertaste. It couldn't possibly belong to a human... The half-ghoul looked down and froze even more. "No... It can't be..."

Short dark hair that had become red due to the overflowing blood, those normally cold, glaring eyes, shocked and sad at the same time.

"NononononoNONONONONONO!"

Upper and lower body severed and her arm, in the clutches of his kagune.

"Please it can't be..! T..."

She glanced up at him, lips slightly parted trying to get the words out of her throat. "Kaneki..."

"TOUKA-CHAAAAN!"

* * *

><p>Kaneki gasped as he woke up from his nightmare, panting heavily. He looked around in the room frantic and felt his stomach twisting in disgust of the dream, he was about the stand up until he felt an hand grabbing his wrists gently. The university student glanced at his sight and noticed those same eyes staring at him worryingly. He let go of the breath he didn't even know he was holding.<p>

"Are you alright? You were crying the whole time, so I thought that you needed..."

Touka couldn't finish as Kaneki pulled her into a hug, tears still spilling frantically from his eyes. "Thank god. Thank god."

"Uhh." Touka answered awkwardly as her cheeks turned slightly pink. After a few seconds it finally hit her what was happening, she considered pushing him away and scolding her colleague, but as she saw his current state, she decided to let it slide... For now.

"Is there anything you need?" Touka asked awkwardly when Kaneki calmed down.

The girl was taken aback when the hug tightened. "Thank you, Touka-chan." He responded softly.

"N-no thanks."

The ukaku ghoul sighed and stared at the boy. "If... You still have trouble with sleeping problems... I can allow you to stay at my place for a while, since Hinami will be there too."

He could feel his breath on her earlobe and it made her even more uncomfortable. "D-don't sit here like an idiot."

Kaneki, finally realizing what he was doing quickly let go, his face burning up from embarrassment. "S-sorry."

The two left the room and just now did it sink into the half-ghoul how long his nap had taken. It was very quiet and the only light that was on at the moment was the hall.

"I'm sorry or leaving all the work to you and Nishio-sempai."

"Don't sweat it, it's better than you, collapsing during work and breaking all the glasses. No go change quickly."

Kaneki nodded. After five minutes he reappeared again in front of her and they left for her apartment.

The click of the keys snapping the door open and the sound of the door were the only sounds breaking the quiet night. The two entered Touka's apartment and slid off their shoes quietly.

"Hinami is probably asleep, so we should be quiet." Touka responded.

Kaneki only nodded as he followed her into the living room.

"Take a seat I'll get you some coffee, you're probably thirsty." The ukaku ghoul said as she quickly turned towards the kitchen."

Kaneki only responded with a small answer, not sure if Touka had actually heard him. To be honest, he felt uncomfortable. Ever since that conversation during work. It was the first time that Touka was so open to him and since that time, the two had become slightly awkward when they were in each other's presence with no one else. The raven-haired teen shifted uncomfortably and looked around the place. This was his second visit in Touka's home. The first time when he was helping with setting up Hinami's room. He finally allowed his eyes to rest at Touka. Her back was turned to him, but she seemed slightly stiff.

He had no idea that she felt as awkward as he did. But Touka tried her best to focus on the coffee for the time being. She was already fidgeting near him, but after that sudden hug it became worse. 'It's not your fault, you're not used to getting hugs, it's just that idiots fault.' She tried to convince herself. It didn't help much that she also felt his gaze on her.

When the coffee was ready, she returned towards the living room and sat across of Kaneki. They both drank it slowly in an awkward sense that was similar to the one she had months ago.

"So, you can use the bed for the time being."

"Huh?" Kaneki looked at Touka questionable. "But, where are you going to sleep."

"On the couch, dumbass."

"But wouldn't that be uncomfortable for you?"

"I've had worse." She responded casually. "Besides, you need it more than me at the moment."

"... I'm sorry... For causing up trouble."

God, he pissed her off. "It's not." She grunted, pushing down the angry emotions that were piling up. "I'll get you something to sleep in..."

She stood up, gazing at Kaneki from head to toe. "But I'm not sure if it will fit you, due to our height differences."

"Ah, I don't mind."

Touka disappeared into her room and quickly came back with a black short and some pants. "Here, try these on."

The half-ghoul nodded as he finished his coffee and disappeared into Touka's room. Touka picked up her coffee mug and decided to wait for him. Kaneki returned not soon after. He was looking slightly awkward while Touka inspecting him. The coffee mug between her lips as she took as sip from it. It wasn't that bad, it looked a bit small, but you wouldn't be able to tell at first glance.

For Kaneki it still felt uncomfortable. Not because he was wearing girl's clothing, but because they were Touka's. He could smell her scent on them. It wasn't a strong scent, but it was pleasant and he didn't want for Touka to catch him sniffing her clothes, that would earn him a beating and a more awkward wall between them.

The short-haired girl gave him a nod, gave him a new toothbrush, which she found at the back of the cupboard in her bathroom. She finished her coffee, cleaned both mugs, put them back where they belonged and told Kaneki to sleep.

* * *

><p>For the first few hours Kaneki had a lot of trouble with falling asleep. Every time he closed his eyelids he heard the laugher of those ghouls from the restaurant and as last Tsukiyama, wearing the crescent shaped mask, smirking and telling him how delicious he smelled and how much he wanted to sink his teeth into his flesh. As different as the dreams were, they always ended with him screaming, be it for what happened to him, his friends or for what he did to his friends. Though they weren't as bad as they were when he slept at his house, due to Touka's scent calming him, even in his slumber, so the least he got was waking up wet from tears.<p>

This went on for a couple of days, but despite Kaneki trying his best to act as if nothing was wrong, Touka did notice and even Hinami. Those tired, distraught eyes every morning, accompanied by a tired smile.

"Is Onii-san alright?" Hinami asked one day when Kaneki had left for his classes.

Touka looked up. She was busy getting ready for her class, but since her apartment was closer to her school than Kaneki's, she didn't need to leave so early. "I'm not sure..."

"I hear him cry very often at night. Sometimes he even screams."

Touka stared pensively at the ground. It was the same as when she found him on the couch in Anteiku after their shift a few days ago. "The manager is also getting worried..." The ukaku ghoul sighed.

She stood up and took her jacket and put on her shoes. She stopped when her hand lingered on the doorknob and turned towards the young ghoul. A reassuring smile on her face. "I'll get over this, I'm sure."

* * *

><p>"Let's start with the legs first, shall we? Or how about the fingers. Ah oui! They'll be a great opening taster! Tr<em>é<em>s formidable! The arms are so delicate and easy to start with."

He couldn't feel his limbs, his body felt heavy and he was in pain. Occasionally his fingers would twitch, but they'd give out soon after. While she looked like a broken doll, almost lifeless. The eyes were empty from crying and he hardly noticed any movement of breathing. He was too weak to do anything...

"Since you've given me such a joyful entertainment I'll allow up to choose; will you let me devour her? Or do you want to do it?" Tsukiyama asked maniacally while stepping on Hinami's head. "I'll tell you, such an experience hardly happens, besides..." He said as he lifted her head slowly. "She looks ve-ry appetizing. Not to mention, you must be quite hungry yourself, since you're only surviving on those low quality cubes. How about one taste?"

Kaneki only let out a groan, trying to muster any strength to fight back, anything. It hurt, it hurt so much, he couldn't protect Hinami as he promised her mother. Why? Why did it have to happen to everyone close to him. "I-I..." His voice sounded coarse, weak and he hardly could form the words... He wanted to cry. "Please... Don't... Let her go..."

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you?"

"Let... Hinami-chan go..."

"Sure, I can do that..."

Kaneki almost sighed of relief, until the Gourmet chomped down on her finger and made the girl scream in agony. "... But first, I'll have a taste of her." the ghoul licked his Blood covered fingers. "Ah fortissimo!"

Kaneki's eyes widened and he let out a scream. Finding the strength he got up and laughed himself towards Tsukiyama, who dodged it easily. "That expression is terrific! It makes you look more tasty! I want to see, what other expressions can make you more tasty!"

Kaneki got impaled by Tsukiyama's kagune without any effort. "Then, how about our next dish?"

He grabbed Kaneki be his collar and dragged him across the room, picking up another body by the hair and Kaneki lost any colour he had left...

"No..." Bangs covering her face, but he could see it. "Please, not..." Eyes closed, blood dripping over her forehead. "Don't let it be..." Her mouth was slightly parted, but he wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. "Why..." Left arm limb and crushed, her bones were clearly sticking out of her skin. "T..." Legs covered in blood and twisted in ways that shouldn't be bearable for any living being. "Touka..."

"Hmm, those legs look delicious!" Tsukiyama commented as he grabbed one of the ukaku ghoul's legs and tore it off with his Koukaku kagune.

"TOUKA-CHAAAAAAN!"

"Do... You... Want... To... Try?"

He couldn't see anymore, his sight had gone hazy, but he smelled it. The scent of Touka's blood covered leg, the soft alluring scent that filled his nostrils and when they touched his lips...

* * *

><p>Kaneki woke up, screaming, crying, struggling anything that could help him get rid of the awful feeling, but his movements were restricted. He stopped when he felt a soft hand in his, arm wrapped around his waist, while a second one was on his head, softly caressing him in a soft voice, telling him to calm down. Kaneki turned around to meet with Touka's eyes. She looked slightly startled and concerned, but there was also a glint of her normal glance, annoyed. The half-ghoul calmed down quickly, while he relaxed. "Touka-chan... I."<p>

"Save your voice. You've kept us awake with your wailing." She snorted. Her comment didn't sound as mean as it normally did. "I've told Hinami to stay in her room and that I would take care of it... Besides, we don't blame you."

"I thought I had lost you... You and Hinami-chan." He sobbed.

Touka stayed quiet. She wasn't really sure how to respond, no matter how hard it was for Kaneki. She wasn't used to these situations, nor wasn't she sure if she was doing a good job at consoling him, but for now she'd keep him company. She had to protect him, the pure, idiotic, innocent boy, who stumbled into her world and became a part of it.

"It was just a dream, we're both fine."

Kaneki nodded, but still didn't let go of the girl.

Touka just continued to caress his head gently, like a mother would do to console her child. After a while Kaneki lifted his head and placed it against the girl's. Her cheeks became slightly rosy as she stared into those grey eyes of his. He looked tired and entranced with something.

"Thank you... For being there for me." He whispered.

"U-huh..."

He leaned in slightly, which made Touka freeze with astonishment and confusion. She felt his breath on his lips, while she stopped breathing at all. Her brain worked on fractions. Was he about to...? But why? He didn't... Did he? She closed her eyes, hoping to escape the nerves and to not look at his face, wondering why the hell she wasn't punching him or calling him names. She stayed like that for a while, until he heard some shuffle and the weight of Kaneki's head on her shoulder.

He fell asleep... That motherfucker fell asleep!? After making such a bold move... Was he just tired? Was that why he lowered his head, because he couldn't contain his sleepiness?

The sound of soft snoring confirmed her suspicions. That idiot was so going to die! She was about the get up, to get ready to hit him in his face, kick him in the guts for teasing d

her like that, but she felt his grasp around her waist, his slightly tight grip. "Please... I don't want to be alone..." She heard the half-ghoul mumble softly.

Kirishima Touka was quiet, frozen in her position. She glanced at Kaneki after a while. His face still didn't looked very peaceful, but it was better that before. She grabbed the mattress of her bed tightly and gritted her teeth. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" She mumbled. "Her eyes becoming damp as she started to remember a memory he had buried years ago.

She quickly dried her tears with her free had and stared at the half-ghoul again. After a sight of defeat she laid down next to him and closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>Kaneki opened his eyes slowly. He finally was able to sleep peacefully without having a nightmare. Feeling content, but slightly lazy to get up, he decided to enjoy the warmth of the bed more, until he heard a soft moan. The raven-haired teen froze and turned his face slowly. He spotted Touka sleeping peacefully next to him, both of her hands intertwined into one of his. Kaneki blushed slightly at the sighed. To say that she looked adorable when she slept was an understatement. He smiled as he unconsciously used his free hands to touch a lock of her bangs and played with it; her hair was smooth and soft. He pushed the locks gently behind her ear to take a good look at her face. The boy realized a bit too late what he did and quickly turned around. What would he do if she woke up at that moment or what if she was awake the whole time? No, wait, if she was awake all the time she would have definitely said something about them sharing a bed together, which made him wonder, why was she there? He thought Touka would have slept in the living room like she did all the other days. Was she worried? He didn't remember anything about the last night.<p>

Touka finally began to stir, which snapped the boy out of his thoughts. He was so going to get it.

The female ghoul sat up and blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes. She looked around the room, recollecting her thoughts and memory of the last night. The she finally eyed Kaneki she was frozen on his spot, waiting for the punishment.

"It's good to see you finally got some proper rest." She said.

Kaneki blinked in confusion. "Uh?"

"You had a nightmare again, so I had to keep an eye on you."

The half-ghoul blinked as the memories of last night resurfaced. "I'm... Sorry..."

"Don't sweat it, you couldn't help it after all."

"No, I mean, I'm sorry for getting tricked by Tsukiyama-san, you warned me and I still..."

"What's in the past, stays in the past, no point in reminiscing it."

Kaneki nodded absent-mindedly. Touka suddenly realized their closeness and quickly stood up. "Get your ass out of bed! I made coffee and we need to work today." She commended, despite having her back to the boy, she still covered her face with her hand, hoping to hide the blush that was creeping up. She quickly exited the room, leaving a baffled university student.

After a few minutes Kaneki finally lifted himself from the bed, captured in his thoughts, he entered the bathroom and turned on the shower. He didn't remember much after thanking her, fatigue took over him, probably.

The boy felt his body relax when the warm water poured over his body, he also felt the stickiness of his sweat wash away. He wondered if he said anything in his sleep that made Touka decide to stay with him. A smile accompanied with a blush crept on his face as he remembered the female ghoul's peaceful sleeping face. It looked so gentle and sweet, it made him want to hold her forever.

Kaneki sighed as he turned off the shower and stepped out of the shower, he took a towel and started to dry his hair. He probably knew all along, but never thought about it... He had fallen for the headstrong, arrogant tomboyish girl...

Meanwhile Touka was repeatedly hitting her head against the wall outside of her apartment. Trying her best to erase the memory of last night and also as a scolding, why the hell did she acted like a douche and did she had this strange feeling inside her? It was all Kaneki's fault! That shithead did something strange to her. Neighbours who passed by, gave her a strange look, but the ukaku ghoul was too engrossed to notice, not that she would care.

"Ugh, it's all that shithead's fault!"

* * *

><p>After-note- about the chapter: I got the inspiration when I reread volume 4 and 5 again. The nightmares Kaneki had after he got back from the restaurant and the fight at the church. My brain was screaming for me to write the ideas down. I had so much fun writing this. It's my first time writing an angst themed chapter, so I hope I've done a great job. I showed the unedited chapter to my friend and she said that she noticed how much I'm improving with writing. Good thing for me, I still have trouble with grammar and such, since I write my stories on my iPod, and we all know how annoying the auto-correct can be. I'm using 2 different grammar check programs on the web and I hope they're helping. I do notice the changes and at least they can find the punctuation,grammar and spelling that I miss, when I reread my stories over and over again. I'm crossing my fingers, that there hardly are any errors left.<p>

Anyway, thank you very much for reading and please leave a review to stimulate me to write more.

Besos.


	3. For a Friend

Finally! I finished this finally! I'm so happy, I had it finished last night, but since I had to get up the next day for work... I couldn't post it sooner. That's why you guys had to wait like 24 hours more. sorry. Now after the long hours of wrapping this one up and checking for grammar and punctuation errors, I almost fell asleep yesterday too. But I kept going I wanted to give this to you guys at least. Also thank you very much everyone! I'm surprised how many followers this story has, yaaay!

So please enjoy!

PS: Long live the iPod!

* * *

><p>For a Friend<p>

Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days and well all the other crap. Touka had to agree on that. The girl sighed as she opened the toilet door. She had checked everything in the mirror before leaving. Toothbrush, which she always brought with her, had done its job, hopefully. Face cleaned from any vomit or other things, she was sure not to bring any attention towards herself. She sighed, damn Yoriko must have been trying new things, because it was getting harder and harder to stomach all that food. She stopped in her tracks when she entered Anteiku and met with Kaneki's worried looking face. Dammit, she completely forgot about him!

"Touka-chan... Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah yeah." The girl mumbled. "Just ate something bad."

"You ate Yoriko-chan's food again?"

The ukaku ghoul gave her colleague a glare. "So what?"

"I admire your willpower to eat her food, but it's not good for you if you keep doing that. What if you collapse?"

Touka felt happy and flustered for the half-ghoul's concern about her, but god she has to stop doing that! Why is she so uncomfortable near the idiot. The high school girl took a deep breath. "It's my problem if I get sick, not yours!"

She pushed Kaneki softly aside, on her way to start working, but Kaneki grabbed her. His face slightly serious and a bit nervous as well. "At least take this... You probably want something nice in your mouth after eating human food.

He let go of her hand and returned to do his work. Touka just stood there dumbfounded. She glanced at her hand and opened it, only to spot a meat cube . Her gaze softened as she placed it in her pocket. "Thank you for your concern... idiot..."

The cube did help a bit. The nauseous feeling had finally subdued, but she still felt weak. So after arriving at her house, the only thing she did was sleep.

* * *

><p>"Hey Touka-chan, are you alright?"<p>

The ukaku ghoul lifted her head slowly as she stared nonchalantly at her friend. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep well the last couple of days."

"Hmm." The blonde eyed her friend suspiciously. "Could it be... boy problems?"

"Whaa?!"

"Has it to do with the boy who was at your place some weeks ago?"

Touka was quiet, sure she was feeling more... uncomfortable around Kaneki, but that wasn't the reason for her lack of energy. "He's just a colleague from Anteiku." She protested.

"I don't remember you ever inviting a boy, colleague or classmate to your home."

"That's because that idiot volunteered... to help out with a problem I had in one of my rooms."

"Well, isn't that polite of him. Do you know what school he attends?"

Touka eyed her friend suspiciously, but answered anyway. "I believe he's a student at the literature department of Kami university."

"Oh my, Touka-chan, he's a keeper for sure!"

"Huh?"

"It's so hard at this age to still find a decent guy. Sure he's not a looker, but personality is important and he goes to a good university!"

"What are you saying? I don't have any interest in him." _'Besides, he's a fucking idiot who only knows how to step on my nerves.'_ Not that she would say that aloud. Her chest felt warm upon remembering Kaneki's kind words, but she quickly pushed it away. "Anyway, what was that thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Ah, I almost forgot!" Yoriko completely forgot their current discussion and started to talk enthusiastically to Touka's relief. "Well, the other day I watched a program about western dishes. It looked all so amazing, so I decided to try some myself!"

Touka gulped, this sounded bad, very bad. "A-and your point is...?"

"Please stop by and try some!"

"I... have to work today..."

"Okay... How about tomorrow? You're most of the time free then."

The sixteen year-old became nervous. She didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings, but she wasn't fond of the idea spending another few hours in the toilet. "I..."

Yoriko stared at her friend suspiciously. "Is there something you're hiding? Do you hate my cooking that much?"

"N-no, it's just... I already had plans..."  
>Touka became more nervous as her friend kept staring. She had to come up with something that would drop any suspicious. Something... Anything!<p>

* * *

><p>"I need you to hide me tomorrow, in the afternoon!"<p>

Kaneki stood baffled at Touka's sudden and odd request. He wasn't even sure if he heard her well. "Sorry?" He asked.

"Yoriko wants me to come over to her house, so I can try her new European cooking! I don't think I will be able to survive that!" The girl shuddered.

"Sure... but what did you tell your friend."

"That I had someone tutoring me on a subject I have trouble with."

The 18 year-old wanted to grin, but one glare from the girl shut him up. He was just so happy that after all the awkwardness she showed the last couple of weeks and the distance she kept finally began to diminish.

"Don't get any ideas shithead!"

"N-no... I haven't had any..."

Touka shoved the half-ghoul aside and went upstairs.

* * *

><p>As another school day was close to finishing Touka did her best to stay awake. Since she had to take notes, as today's lecture was important for the exam, but mostly due to what she would do after school and the fact that she could evade another day of eating Yoriko's samples of European cooking. Sadly, she was failing badly.<p>

The girl was tapped on her shoulder when the last class finished. The ukaku ghoul groaned when she saw her friend grinning at her. "I've had to cover for you again."

"Yeah, thanks..." Shit this didn't sound so good.

"As a thank you, I brought some samples with me so you can taste!" The blonde grinned even more.

Yup, shit just got real.

"Ah, but at least during the weekend you could come."

There was seriously no way around it...

"Kirishima-san, there's some guy waiting for you at the school gates."

Touka and Yoriko looked up as one of their classmates called out to the short-haired teen. The two looked out of the window. Touka had no idea if she should be relieved or embarrassed. _'How did that idiot...'_

Kaneki stood nonchalantly at the gates, waiting for the ukaku ghoul. He felt a bit nervous, since it had been quite some time since he was at a high school.

"Ah, isn't that the guy from last time? Your colleague from Anteiku, right?" Yoriko asked.

"So, you two know him?" Their classmate asked. She turned towards Touka curiosity present in her eyes. "Is he your boyfriend?! To what school does he go? He isn't wearing a uniform, is he a university student?! I can't believe that Kirishima Touka is going out with a guy! He looks a bit plain, though..."

Touka sighed, she was getting tired of this. "Yes, I know him, he's my colleague. Yes, he's a university student, he goes to Kamii university. Yes, he's plain. _'And an idiot'_ and no, he's not my boyfriend." The dark-haired teen felt her patience decreasing, thought the idea of Kaneki and her together felt... Strange, embarrassing and something else she couldn't put her finger on, which made her annoyed.

"Are you sure you're not dating?" Yoriko whispered. "I've never seen you with a guy before, until weeks ago when I brought you some food that day, when you were a bit out of it. If I knew you were going to be tutored by him I would have made more so you could enjoy it together, like last time."

Thank god that won't be happening.

"I'm hundred percent sure." Touka said. She stared at the box Yoriko prepared and sighed. Apparently, she will spend her time in Kaneki's bathroom. After a heavy sigh, she opened it in front of Yoriko and swallowed it all at once.

* * *

><p>Dried up oil with a sponge-like texture... Fat and only fat... Hard texture... Worms and a lot of other things she couldn't describe. What was is Yoriko had called it? Tops?<p>

"Blaaaghr!"

Touka was inside Kaneki's bathroom for over thirty minutes, throwing up the food she had tried so much to keep inside, but her body couldn't handle it and Kaneki... He just stood there outside, waiting until the girl finally accepted some help.

"Are you feeling better already?" The half-ghoul asked.

"Yes, I'm feeling fucking perfect! So good, that I could take another bite of that lunch box!" The girl barked before throwing her head back into the toilet.

"You do know that you're not obliged to eat it..."

Touka didn't answer immediately, she was panting too heavily and to be honest, she didn't give a damn, she only wanted that terrible nausea to pass. "I... Fucking know that!" She paused again as she felt another wave of nausea coming. "But I don't want to... Hurt her feelings... Yoriko wants to be a chef someday and she wants the opinion of her friends for improvement, even if I'm no good. Even if I can't taste it or stomach any of that, even if it tastes horrible for me... At least her smile is enough for me..." She threw up again and groaned loudly.

Kaneki stayed quiet and pondered over what the girl said. He could relate to Touka's feelings, but everything should have its limit, right? He didn't notice when the vomiting and panting noises finally stopped, nor when the toilet flushed and the water from the sink started to run. Only when the female ghoul popped her head out of the toilet did he noticed. She looked horrible and exhausted.

"Do you need a toothbrush? I think I have some spares."

Touka only nodded, she felt so tired to respond to anything else.

Kaneki handed her the toothbrush and some toothpaste and the girl went back to the toilet, only to return 2 minutes later. "Thanks... She said awkwardly. She still felt miserable, but not as terrible as before. "Also, don't you dare to come to my school again like that!"

"... Ah, I'm sorry, I just thought that, maybe it'll look more convincing or something..."

The two stood there, the awkwardness and uncomfortable feeling that had been looming between them for the last couple of weeks had returned, but now even heavier than before.

"S-so... Do you really have difficulties with one of your subjects?" Kaneki asked as a way to break the silence.

"Kinda... But only math and literature. That's because math is unreasonable and literature is hard to understand and also boring... But I guess it's better than European food. I don't understand how people can eat that, it's even worse than the regular crap from here!"

Kaneki chuckled. "Who knows... I've never been familiar with European food, only American food from my previous favourite restaurant and our regular... crap." He recited awkwardly. "If you want, I can help you with literature, math isn't my strongest subject as you know, so I can't help you very much with that, but at least your homework will decrease."

"... Sure, why not. It's not like we have anything else to kill time with."

They sat next to each other in the living room, shoulders nearly brushing, while Touka grabbed her school bag and took out the book they had to study; The Gossamer Years.  
>The story contained the diary entries of a noblewoman living in the Heian period, following her daily life with her husband and the accompanied complications of the married life of a noble woman.<br>For Touka it was one of the most annoying books, she had trouble understanding the concept of the story and what was more, the writer of the story pissed her off to no end.

"Ah, this is a very good book!" Kaneki exclaimed.

The ukaku ghoul frowned. "Huh, why so?"

"Because it's one of the few books that gives you a very narrow perspective of the noble life from a woman's point of view. Their train of thoughts, opinions, daily life. You can see how much has changed over the centuries, since women hardly had any say in anything."

"I find the writer a weak, stupid woman who only knows how to whine." Touka snorted. "She thinks she had it hard? Don't make me laugh, she had everything, living in comfort and luxury, nothing to fear, didn't need to hide from danger. She doesn't know what real pain and suffering is!"

Kaneki turned a soft gaze on the girl, understanding the real meaning behind her words. "Every person has his or her problems, the situation it applies to is just different. The author was afraid that her husband would lose interest in her, since she lives in a polygamy, where the lord has multiple wives who compete for his attention. The life there for the woman is very lonely, since they're surrounded by competition, they can't trust anyone, servants are hired by the lord, they only abide to his wishes and when The Lord loses interest in his wife, she won't have anyone else to turn to. Her family isn't there with her, her children might give her some comfort until some point, but that's all. If they anger their lord or offend him, they may lose her life... It's a very lonely life there..."

"Geez, what are you a woman?" The female ghoul snorted.

Kaneki blushed. "Uhm, no, it's just that I've read this myself when I was still in high school and other stories that are similar to this one. They're all very different, but they all have the same lonely feeling when you read it..." He responded, while scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

Touka just stared at him for a while. She had noticed already, from the moment he came to work at Anteiku, despite him being a human previously, he never mentioned anything about his family, no comments about being worried that they would find out or that he would eat his family, only worries about that idiotic friend of his, who tried to flirt with her once in a while. He lives by himself, no cards or anything... It's probably because he has no one... She never bothered to ask, because she knows very well how painful the subject is.  
>"... At least... It's good that our society has changed... For the better. Since we're not restricted by the rules of the past, it's easier to have company with you, without getting worried about consequences."<p>

The half-ghoul looked bewildered at the dark-haired girl's kind words. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed in content. Kaneki's heart skipped a beat, but he said nothing, he just let her and enjoyed the close contact. Unconsciously, their hands drew closer to each other, barely touching each other.

Unlike Kaneki, Touka thought her heart was going to jump out. She felt her head, heat up like never before. She wanted to move, but her body refused, it was frozen on stop. Her thoughts became hazy when she noticed Kaneki staring at her, gently and caring like always and his sweet smile present, like the moments when she enters Anteiku. Their faces so close... Wait, did that mean? What did that mean? She couldn't be... She expected to hate it, the strange feeling, to shy away, but she didn't, nor did she had any urges to scold, bark or any other violent actions."

"Touka...-chan..."

Closer, closer, increasingly closer, so close when...

Touka froze, a suddenly nausea resurfacing. She quickly got up, making Kaneki fall and quickly rushed towards the toilet. Holy crap what did Yoriko put in that food!

"Blaaaaghh!"

Kaneki stayed on the ground, watching the door Touka had disappeared to. He felt disappointed and embarrassed at the same time. Embarrassed, by the sudden bold move and because their lips almost brushed each other, disappointed because they were so close and yet...  
>Kaneki sighed, oww well what happened, happened. He heard Touka groan and throwing up again.<p>

The half-ghoul sweat-dropped. He didn't deserve to feel like that, since it's Touka who has it harder, still affected by the food. The boy noticed a note in Touka's bag and picked it up, opening it and reading it curiously.

I hope you like it Touka-chan, I had a hard time deciding what to make, but I finally decided with a mix of dishes from different counties, also some Asian ones;  
>Escargots (which are apparently snails. I tasted the myself and they're not as bad as you'd think.)<br>Crickets, yeah, I didn't know either you could eat them.  
>Caviar; (it took me all my allowance to get this)<br>Hassenpfeffer: this one is German.. I'm not sure what it exactly means, but I think it has some hare meat...

Kaneki didn't bother to finish, he quickly crumbled the paper and threw it away. No need for Touka to know the horrible truth about Yoriko's odd dish. At least it explained Touka's condition and the returning nausea. If she were to find out the truth her condition may worsen. The boy got up slowly, feeling slightly unwell himself after reading the note. He wouldn't be surprised if not only ghouls, but also humans refused to eat it. He was sure that before the incident, he would be one of those.

He went to the kitchen, prepared coffee for him and Touka and walked back. It took Touka a whole hour before her stomach finally calmed down and by that time the coffee had gone cold for the third time.

* * *

><p>Kaneki would have thought that things would have gone easier the next day, but no. When arriving at Anteiku, to start his shift he got greeted by Touka's smirk and a suspicious box in front of her. He didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling. "Hello Touka-chan... Are you feeling better?"<p>

"A lot better than yesterday." The girl replied.

"Ah, that's good to hear... What's inside that box?" He had a feeling that he shouldn't have asked that, but he'd find out anyway.

"This?" Touka held up the wrapped up box. "Ah, Yoriko came by and gave it to me... She wanted me to taste... Her other dishes..." Touka's face had turned slightly green upon looking at the packed lunch. "So I'll have to eat this too... She also asked me something about ingredients or something and if it wasn't too weird, I don't know why, though."

Kaneki stiffened, remembering what was written in the paper. A-are you really going to eat that after what happened? I mean Yomo-san even tells you not to."

"I don't want to hurt her feelings and she's gone all the way to give it to me so, it'll be worth enduring it."

Before Touka could say anything else Kaneki quickly grabbed her lunch box and ran to the back of the shop. The Ukaku ghoul was first surprised, but that turned quickly into anger as she followed her colleague to the back of the building.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Get the fuck back here, shithead!"

When the girl finally arrived at the employee's lounge she spotted Kaneki with the lunch box open. Before the girl could take one step, the half-ghoul swallowed everything within seconds... Or at least he tried, between his gagging, coughing and drinking bottle after bottle. Touka didn't do anything, she just stood there, frozen after seeing the slightly amusing, but still very unexpected scene.

When Kaneki finally finished, he turned towards the ukaku ghoul, mouth formed into a small twitching smile and before he could do anything else he collapsed.

"Kaneki!"

All the other employees, including Yomo and Yoshimura entered the room after hearing Touka. They all stood baffled and surprised when they saw Kaneki lying on the floor. Nishiki started to chuckle, which turned into loud laughter.

"Holy shit! Don't tell me that idiot ate those shitty lunches you get from your human friend!"

When Touka kept an awkward silence, Nishiki lost it and fell on the floor, clutching his stomach.

Yomo just shook his head and lifted Kaneki from the ground. "I'm bringing him upstairs."

Yoshimura nodded and told all the others to get back to work.

"Hmm l, who would have thought that our Kaneki would have the guts to swallow all that, after his failed attempt to eat a sandwich." Enji mused.

"He'll probably be in bed for the next couple of days, wouldn't he?" Irimi wondered.

"How stupid can you be! Hahahahahaha! And I already thought that dumbass had reached the highest level! I guess I was wrong. " Nishiki grinned, still not over his laughing fit.

Slowly the room was cleared and all the ghoul went back to their work, except for Touka. She was still staring at the spot where the half-ghoul had collapsed, expression unreadable. She closed her hands tightly and fitted her teeth. "Idiot, why did you had to do that for me? I'm so going to beat the crap out of him!"

The girl sighed and finally raised her head, memories of the previous day suddenly resurfacing. She had completely forgotten due to her nausea, but now she recalled a moment where they almost... Touka shook her head frantically, her face had become completely red.

It couldn't, could it? He was a idiotic shithead that got on her nerves all the time.

"Arrrghhh!" Touka yelled. She pulled on her short hair and stormed out of the room.

* * *

><p>After closing hours, Touka decided to check up on her colleague. Kaneki was still unconscious, she wondered if it had something to do with the food.<br>The ghoul sat on the ground next to the couch and kept her gaze on the boy. He didn't look very peaceful, but troubled neither. The girl flinched when she caught his scent. It wasn't a very strong scent, more like a soft one, with a mix of what she would describe as sweet and something else she couldn't put her fingers on.  
>Touka wondered if his scent had anything to do with her strange behaviour and actions. She quickly pushed her thought away and looked back at Kaneki, who was breathing peacefully, in and out. His lips looked soft and the same feeling of the last day resurfaced. She remembered is hot breath on her skin and shuddered at the thought of how close they were.<p>

Touka sighed and stood up, taking one more glance as Kaneki's slightly distraught expression. It reminded her of the conversation about the book she had to read for class. A smile crept on her face and she leaned in and place a kiss on Kaneki's forehead. "Good night, dumbass." She whispered before leaving the room.

Little did she know, that when she left the room Kaneki opened his eye, face flushed, buts smile also crept on his face. He touched his forehead, where Touka had kissed him. "Good night Touka-chan."

* * *

><p>After note- About the chapter: This took well, many turns from the begin idea. I was planning to make it more humour and romance, showing that there's even some human food that some of us don't dare to eat, like some French dishes, seeing a snail makes me already throw up, eating one... Ugh! I got this idea when I was at school some weeks ago. There was some food event organised by the students where we could taste different kinds of food from different countries organised by the students; like Brazil, Spain, China, Switzerland, Canada, UK, Korea, The Netherlands ect. All the food was prepared by the students from those countries. my education is quite awesome. XD But in the end it became the other way. I can't help the fluff, I'm too addicted to Touken! I started to fantasize about fluffy moments and after I got the artbook, gosh it became even worse! So many ideas! I just felt like showing more conversation between Touka and Kaneki. Also, pleas don't kill me for ruining your kiss scene, I just felt like I had to, it was important to built their relationship more. We have gotten to the point where Kaneki is aware of his feelings and has a grasp of what Touka's are and Touka just figured out her's and isn't completely sure what Kaneki's are. For us it's super obvious, but for a girl who has been shunning human contact, cept for Yorko since well a long time. Even falling in love will be hard for her.<p>

Thanks for reading everyone, also for the ones who are lazy to read my notes, if you want to understand more about the chapters; how and why I came up with this. I wouldn't encourage you to read them. Also again thank you for your reviews, favourites and follows. People who review receive a super small spoiler about what they can expect next.

Please leave a review, it's not obligatory, but it gives me motivation and courage to keep coming up with new ideas, also suggestions of what kind of one-shot you want are also welcome. Note: I'm not good with lemons so the chance that I write them are very small.

Till next time! And in case I don't update before new year: A happy 2015 everyone!


	4. Those Who Wait

I'm so sorry for making you wait, sure it's been only a little bit more than a week since my last update, but the thought of all those readers who are waiting eagerly for another chapter! This chapter was ready almost a week ago, but grammar check and all had to wait because this week I had exams, those are luckily over now and since i have no resits I have 3 weeks of updating! This one-shot was requested by treeofsakuras. I hope you like it girl.

Also, I want to thank all the lovely people who have reviewed, followed and favourite this story. Really, I would never imagine that this story would get 34 followers and 25 favs with only 3 chapters, you have no idea how much joy it has brought me.

Replies to the reviewers who don't have an account:

Ary: Aww, thank you! I'm really flattered that you took the time to read my notes, since I know that not everyone does it. I hope you also have an amazing year, though mine started stressful. XD

This chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones, but I usually focus more on content than on length.

Also, today the first episode of Tokyo Ghoul √A was aired. The opening song wasn't that impressive, but the ending song! Gosh, I love it! It's so sad and cute, perfect for Tokyo Ghoul. Also, the fighting scenes were amazing, Yoshimura really is like a super boss and the tone of his voice, wow! I'm disappointed that we didn't get to see Kaneki breaking half of Ayato's bones, but the episode as a whole made up for it! And I got soo many Touken feels! the fact that Kaneki left her again wasn't much of a surprise but, I still felt like my heart was breaking, poor Touka. On the bright side, I became even more motivated to write Touken one-shots!

Anyway, enjoy reading!

* * *

><p>Those Who Wait<p>

Patience is power.  
>Patience is not an absence of action;<br>rather it is "timing"  
>it waits on the right time to act,<br>for the right principles  
>and in the right way.<p>

-Fulton J. Sheen

Sometimes people tend to not treasure their memories and the time spend with those closest to them. In the end, they up regretting it in the end. Touka could understand now why... It's wasn't that she appreciated her memories, instead she had treasured them too much, which ended up in her having more regrets.

She should have spent more time with him, she should have been more accepting, no matter how difficult it had been for her to even establish any kind of relation with another person, let alone a half-ghoul, who has been human until recently...

It had been like two or three days since Kaneki was taken away by Aogiri. Yoshimura said he would gather everyone, but she hasn't heard anything since then. She had taken a break from school, since she was in no condition to go. The first day she just laid on her bed like a lifeless doll, allowing tears to fall down her face and frustration loose, the second day she started to cry as she had trouble sleeping and now she just laid there, stuck with the empty feeling she came to know too well over the years...

Taunts of her brother would haunt her dreams, telling her how weak and stupid she is, how she should just give up and accept the fact that she's a man eating monster. Or whenever she was nearing unconsciousness, she could hear whispers and words of reassurance from the boy remained in her mind. It was driving her nuts.

Whenever she imagined that kindness of his, his smile, the warmth of his body, his smell, the short moments where they touched, be it a slight brush from their shoulders or their hands, his breath, even engraved since the day she went to his house. It made her want to bang her head against the wall. So close and still so far away, if only the nausea wouldn't have kicked in, dammit! They would have, they could have...

_What would have happened?_

Would they have confessed their feelings for each other? After months Touka finally had realized her feelings for the eye-patched half-ghoul. But what about the boy in question? Was he already aware? Would they really have made the step? They could easily return to the awkwardness that had been lurking between them since weeks. Or would they start a relationship? She really had no idea, nor wasn't she sure how to react...

Touka lifted herself from her bed and glanced at her clock; 16.38 and it was already dark. She sighed of course, what else would she expect in the middle of December...

Another sigh escaped her breath... Christmas Eve was nearing and she had hoped to spent it with Kaneki... And his birthday too, which would have been in a few days... The girl sighed again. Kaneki had told her his birthday after another 'tutor' session. He had asked her birthday first, as the book they were going through contained lots of mentioning about birthstones. Too bad they never got as far as Touka wanted, since both became so conscious of each other, maybe if only she noticed sooner.

"Stupid idiot...why wasn't I strong enough to protect him? Why do I have to wait?"

She sighed again. Maybe they could save him in time... Before something bad happens to him and then, they could celebrate his birthday together... She glanced at her closet, one of the doors was slightly open, so you could peek inside to the a wrapped present lying in the corner.

The present she had bought for Kaneki.

She wasn't sure he would like it, since she wasn't sure what genre he did and did not like, but at least she believed that he would enjoy it.

A smile crawled on her face as she imagined the expression the half-ghoul would have when she gives him his birthday present.

She decided to lay down and closed her eyes.

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><p>Another day had arrived and still nothing from Yoshimura. Touka sighed. She just stared from her bed at the window, watching how the raindrops kept hitting the glass, the sound was reassuring to her. It helped her to distract her from her problems.<p>

The day was sour, just like her mood. She didn't have the energy to do anything, how much she hated this, the silence, the insecurity, the frustration, the waiting.

"Why did I stop training so intensely in the first place? Ah, right... School..."

She stood up, feeling way too cramped, also Hinami would probably be as worried as her.

When Touka walked into her living room, she found the young ghoul drinking some coffee. "Ah, hello Touka onee-chan." The 13 year-old smiled. "I got you some coffee too."

"Thank you Hinami." The Ukaku ghoul replied. She took a seat next to Hinami and started to drink.

"So... Have you heard anything?" Hinami asked.

Touka shook her head. "Yomo-san and the manager have both been quiet, I wonder why it's taking them so long..."

The girls got interrupted, when they heard a knock on the door. Touka sighed and stood up, to see who would be bothering them with Hinami following behind. To their surprise, when Touka opened the door, they saw Yomo standing there. The older ghoul looked over Touka shoulder to see Hanami's face popping out, just behind the older female ghoul, with the same hopeful, curious expression as her older sister figure.

"Yoshimura is waiting."

Without any respond the two girls grabbed their jackets and followed the Ukaku ghoul silently.

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><p>Touka had trouble with sleeping, too much happened in such a short time... she felt so... The girl blinked, what was she feeling? Anxious? Probably. Elated, maybe also, restless? Definitely and a lot of other things that she had trouble to identify, but... There was one thing he was sure off... She had hope...<p>

After Yomo had dropped her and Hinami at Anteiku, he went off to get the others. Yoshimura had finally revealed that they would go rescue Kaneki, which brought more than joy to everyone. The girl wasn't that thrilled with the idea of Tsukiyama coming along... But as long as Yomo was there to keep an eye, it would be fine and with Uta and Irimi joining too, it made her very confident about their rescue plan.

Which brought her to the restless state she was in now. They couldn't leave immediately, since they had to act carefully. Aogiri's stronghold would be hard to infiltrate and escape wouldn't be easy either with all the guards... Thus she went back to waiting... again...

"Please be safe..." The ukaku ghoul mumbled.

She got up and walked over to the closet where she had Kaneki's present. She wondered if they would be on time to celebrate his birthday, or would she have to give him the present next day? The girl tried to come up with ideas on how she would give the half-ghoul, his present, but they all sounded so wrong and stupid, so unlike her...

Behind those happy thoughts she knew that she shouldn't be too optimistic, as Yoshimura's words to Yomo still rang in her head. 'The Kaneki-kun we've known until now... probably isn't around anymore...' She wasn't sure what he meant by it, nor wasn't she sure if she wanted to know. Touka had no idea, but she felt fear when the old ghoul spoke those words. Does that mean that There's a possibility that Kaneki wouldn't be alive when they arrived? Or something far worse?

The ukaku ghoul took one more glance at the present before she closed her closet. Better not to think about such things, it wouldn't help her anyway and it would make her only feel worse.

A soft knock interrupted the sixteen year-old's thoughts. Hinami entered after Touka answered. Her normally innocent face completely serious. "Onee-chan, are you done?"

Touka nodded. She walked towards her bed and grabbed the items she had received from Uta. The girl gave a cape to Hinami and put an identical one on. "Let's go." She exclaimed.

Allowing Hinami to leave first, she took one more glance at her closet. "Don't you dare to die idiot." She mumbled before following the young ghoul towards the meeting place. Touka didn't know why, but she had the feeling that things wouldn't go as smoothly as she hoped it would be.

But at least she knew, that she wasn't alone on this, because Anteiku is always ready to help its fellow ghouls. They all had to wait, just like her. They all were anxious about the well being of their colleague and now, finally, the waiting is finally over.

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><p>After-note about the chapter: For this story I wanted to put a quote related to the title of this one-shot, one that has a deep meaning, so I searched on the web and I think I got a good one. As for the tittle, I wanted one that also had a deep meaning, I don't know if I did it right, because I kept pondering about the right name for it, changing it all the time, until I was satisfied. As for Touka, she is more the kind of person, who would have trouble with patience. I tried my best to imagine how Touka felt during Kaneki's absence. Seeing Ayato again must have been such a shock and that she wasn't able to protect Kaneki... So anger, sadness and disappointment are probably the emotions she had been feeling most of the time and Maplecat, I answered your question on how Kaneki found out Touka's birthday :) It's not canon of course, since I made it up.<p>

So thanks for reading guys, and because I'm in such a happy mood, I'll reveal a little secret; the next chapter is also good to go, only grammar needs to be corrected and revising to be sure that I'm satisfied with it. So if you want me to post it quickly make sure to show interest by leaving a little review. Until next time! Tomorrow I'll be visiting my aunt so you will know that tomorrow is 100% no update day, as for Saturday and Sunday, that's when I work, so maybe, if I don't come back exhausted or you guys sow how impatient you are, I will post it sooner. Since waiting for Episode 2 is a torture, we all drown ourselves in fanfics to satisfy our thirst. XD

Again, thank you for reading this chapter. Leave a review, favourite and follow if you want to support me!

This is xxxDreamingflowerxxx over and out!


	5. Those Who Endure

As I promised! One-shot 5, that was fast wasn't it? I'm so glad I have this long break, I feel like I've been freed from a burden!

This one as you will see, revolves around Kaneki's time in Yamori's... 'play room' So more angst and creepiness.

Wow we're close to reaching 50 follows and I have more than 30 favourites. I don't know what I did to make this story so successful but, I'm soo happy! And thanks again everyone who reviewed! You make me sooo happy!

Special thanks to: , FreakyFee94, nissangtrlover2569, LovingmyOTP's, treeofsakuras and Maplecat for reviewing frequently! You guys make me soo happy, knowing that there are so many faithful reviewers! You guys deserve a big hug and some virtual cake!

Wow we're at chapter 5 already, I'm really on fire! It hasn't been even a month since I posted the first one-shot and with already more than 3.5k hit! :3 I'm seriously... wondering if I should drink something. XD I wonder if I got my old fire back. When I just I could write a chapter every week. And now I'm doing it again and better, since my writing has improved immensely and that in less than 3 years. All that writing really did it's job.

Now on to the story and please leave a review for feedback.

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><p>Those who endure<p>

"Endurance-Suppression of the pain. The pain is severe at threshold. After the threshold, capacity is built to sustain the pain. The pain is lessen when the strength of might is achieved. Mankind can endure all things."

― Lailah Gifty Akita

It felt like he had been going through a long tunnel, one that seemed to be endless, covered in complete darkness. No matter what he tried, it kept returning and returning. His screaming, the pain, the burning, the numbers... Was he at 783 or 776?

As the effect of the RC suppressant began to wear off, Kaneki felt his hands twitch. It still hurt a lot, at least not as much as when the drug was, in effect, but it was still hard to tolerate. He was beyond exhaustion, but he knew that rest wouldn't come. It was impossible, not now, not when there was no light in sight, with the endless and meaningless torture.

"It's feeding time!" Yamori exclaimed maniacally, while he took a piece of meat and shove it into Kaneki's mouth. He couldn't eat at his own tempo, all the meat in his mouth wouldn't let him, so he had to swallow big chunks in one."Now, I have to take care of a few things, be a nice subordinate and wait until I come back." He grinned, before disappearing through the only door available in the building.

Despite the few moments of extra peace he had gotten, the half-ghoul felt nowhere near relaxed nor relieved, because he knew, the moment Yamori returned, it would start all over again. He felt his toes and fingers twitch in response, it felt strange, after all the cutting and growing back. As if he wasn't in his own body anymore.

He stared at his feet, noticing how the flesh recovered and his nails re-grew at rapid speed. The raven-haired boy noticed his toenails becoming slightly darker, but in the end he didn't care. What's the point of worrying, it's not like it would change the situation.

"A monster..." He mumbled. Eyes blank and hopeless.

He really was a monster... One that was hard to kill, one that couldn't be killed like that._ Is_ _this how_ _hell would feel like?_ He wondered. Stuck in a place with no hope, no salvation... only endless torture and despair. He felt like crying, he felt like screaming he wanted to get out.

"... Someone..."

There was no one who could hear him, no one who would help him. He was alone, alone and helpless.

At least... those he cared about weren't able to see him, they are save; away from the pain and despair. He wondered how his friends were doing. Hide was probably worried sick and the ghouls from Anteiku... What would they be doing? Probably as worried as his human friend. Would they try to rescue him? But, how? Since they probably don't know where he is.

He wondered if Hinami was alright. Would she be able to continue practising her Kanji without him? He hoped she wouldn't be too sad... She had lost already so much and the thought of her crying again hurt him much more than the pain he went through the last couple of days.

Hide... How would he survive classes without him? He remembered the words, his friend yelled during the time he got released from the hospital. 'Rabbits will die from loneliness!' A small smile and bitter chuckle escaped his lips. Hopefully, that won't happen for real to Hide, especially the idea of his best friend turning into a rabbit sounded absurd, but he you could say the same about a human turning into a ghoul and look how he ended up.

His smile faltered immediately. Rabbits... Touka probably wouldn't mind... "Touka-chan..." What was she up to? Did she recover already? Was she worried? Sad? Alone? He remembered, before he lost consciousness and was taken away... She tried to save him, she threw herself at Yamori, but Ayato; her little brother, came between them and send her unconscious in one hit against the wall. Kaneki wondered why he did that...

At least she's safe. Probably not happy, but safe...

His mind wandered to a few weeks back, when their study session had begun. He was surprised by his bold action, but even more when Touka didn't push him away or didn't try to kill him later on.

He knew the girl saw him as an important friend, someone she wouldn't want to lose and they had grown closer within the short period, so close that he had fallen completely for her. That sharp tongued attitude and scary demander, looked now cute and adorable to him. Yes, he definitely loved her, with all his being... The question was; were his feelings mutual? At that moment he was almost sure... But wasn't he losing it? Maybe it was just something his unconscious had created to ease his current state of mind.

'Good night, dumbass.'

A smile crept on his face... A sour one. Her soft voice couldn't leave his mind.

No, he was sure, it wasn't his mind playing a trick on him. Her soft concerning tone, the warmth of her lips on his forehead. There were. clearly signs.

"Touka-chan."

Despite how close they had grown... It wouldn't develop into anything... It's impossible, he would never see her again. Never again. It was painful now, thinking about that. But maybe in time she would fade away from his memory piece by piece. What's the point of having memories? When you'll be stuck, tied up on a chair for the rest of your life, used as a toy for torture.

Kaneki grimaced darkly. _The irony..._

Despite the days he spent, training with her, it had all been in vain, he wasn't strong enough and thanks to that, the escape plan with Banjou and the others had failed...

It was the best. Even if he would be stuck in hell's despair forever, at least Banjou and the others would be safe, away from the cruel world, hopefully in the 20th ward and given shelter by Anteiku. It was the safest place for them. Yes, he didn't mind it. He preferred it that way, instead of others suffering... He would in their place, he could endure it...

... For now...

The door opened again, footsteps approached the chained half-ghoul. He knew what would be coming next, all too well, he didn't need to look up to know who had entered. Kaneki kept staring at the ground empty and voided from any emotion, he braced himself.

"I hope you had a nice nap." Yamori chuckled, because it's time to have more fun!"

Kaneki didn't move, not even after the ghoul cracked his finger, not even when he got pulled by his hair, not even when his face was tilted to face the crazy ghoul, who had the expression as if he had the time of his life. He just stared lifelessly as the needle was pointing to his eye again.

_'I'm sorry, Touka-chan... I couldn't protect anyone...'_

The sounds of maniacal laughter, agonizing screams and counting continued.

1000, 993, 986, 979, 972, 965...

Those who endure... Will they become stronger... Or will they crumble apart little by little?

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><p>After-note about the chapter: The moment I started working on the previous one-shot, I knew that I wanted to write one with Kaneki's point of view. So I could have it as a parallel. I wasn't very hard to come up with it, I just had to think about the chapter where he got tortured to no end and wonder, what else would be going through your mend when you're in that state? Lost? Despair? Sadness? I used those elements in this one-shot. Poor Kaneki. The story was actually shorter, but I wanted to add another quote as another sign, that this one is one half of of two one-shots. The name of this one-shot Those who endure was created by that same thought. Since it's part of a half it has to be similar, yet different, like Touka and Kaneki. Enduring and waiting are two different words, but in a way they are similar. When you endure something you mostly wait and when you wait, you tend to endure, be it impatience or something else. Also listening to Kisetsu wa tsugitsugi shindeiku (The ending theme of Tokyo Ghoul √A) helped me a lot. Actually that song has given me so much inspiration for other chapters! It makes me wanna cry!<p>

So, thank you for reading and please leave a review! Make sure to keep an eye on the updates, because the next one-shot may get uploaded soon.

Signing out!


	6. Liar

Sooo sorry for the late update! I know I promised I'd update Friday, but I wasn't satisfied with this chapter completely, so I went and changed a few things and added another view things and I still, don't feel satisfied, I feel like I can do better than this, like it's missing something. This chapter feels so short and that's normally not like me :( I'll make sure the next chapter will be up sooner as compensation for the well slow update, since I've finished edits to that one too.

Thanks again for the reviews favs and follows. This little flower is soo happy. *hugs everyone*

We've past the 5,600 hits, 33 reviews, 40 favourites and 56 follows already, holy...! And in such a short time. *sniff* Ahh my happiness can't reach any higher for now. Anyway, it's late, I'm watching Titanic for the... 5th time, listening to Nana mizuki and yeah, that's a lot at the same time and what's worse is, that I have to get up early tomorrow because I'm going to sing for a project of some first years who needed singers. That's also another reason why I wasn't able to update sooner, that and work... I feel kinda nervous... kay a lot... I can't screw it up!

For those who hoped more a fluffy chapter, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but its not time for fluff yet, first a few hurt/ angsty scenes and after that I'll let the fluff loose on maximum power! I need to built the tension for you guys! The more you wait the more satisfied you'll be. I'm no sadist! At least not when it comes to this fic!

Enjoy this chapter! Please don't throw any tomatoes at me for having a super sad and broken Touka and no fluff since, well quite some chapters!

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><p>Liar<p>

What was wrong with the weather lately? Touka had no idea, but it seemed as if the weather always became grim whenever she was feeling bad. At least it worked in her favour, because she felt like the world was crumbling away.

He promised didn't he? He said he wouldn't leave her alone. Then, why... Why was it, that the moment they escaped from Aogiri's strongholds... He abandoned her?! He said he wouldn't return to Anteiku, that he had things to prepare for... Get stronger and she couldn't go with him. What was the point of making such a promise in the first place, if he would leave anyway?!

"Fucking liar... You're a fucking liar Kaneki!" The ukaku ghoul growled teeth gritted as she tried to hold back her tears.

Her mind went back to that moment... When he had saved her from her brother Ayato... And held her in his arms. Thought she passed out not soon after, she remembered how shocked she was... He was so different, so unlike that gentle sweet boy. He looked... strong, broken, tormented, but among all that sadness, she saw a glinted of happiness and relief... She wanted to hug him and ask him what happened, comfort him, tell him how sorry she was, for allowing those bastards to take him away. How she would cherish their time together and try to get to know the half-ghoul better. About his past, his other interest that doesn't involve reading and she would tell him about herself. At least the more cheerful chapters.

He also seemed relieved to see her, but he didn't want her with him... Why? Because he didn't want her to destroy the life she had built up over the years? Because it wasn't safe for her?

She wanted to punch him, to yell at him, to try and make him open his eyes, to return to the old Kaneki, but he wasn't the same anymore... He wasn't the same Kaneki she had fallen in love with...

'But even if that's the case... Why does it hurt so much?' Why had he come into her life? have her opening up to him and allow him into her heart, only for it to be left empty and broken... again.

She gritted her teeth, tears falling down her cheeks as she looked at the precious engagement ring that was previously owned by her deceased father. The names Arata and Hikari were engraved inside the object.

"Why did you have to leave me? Mom, dad..." She didn't care that her face was getting wet, it was like those times all over again, her mother had left her, her father had left her... Ayato left her and tore her up as if he didn't care about anything, didn't care about anything that they had to go through, the hardships she had to suffer as a child, just to protect her little brother... and now Kaneki too. She had failed those she had to protect and as payment they had left her and to make it even worse Hinami also left, with the half-ghoul.

This really was the worst day ever. "It hurts! I feel so alone... I hate it!" The girl bit her finger hard enough to draw blood. She didn't care, anything was better than the feeling she harboured now.

Why did they leave her? Why was it, that everyone, who she cared deeply about left her? Was it her fault? Was she just attracting bad luck? It felt so unfair to her. She couldn't understand, why every time she felt like she could finally be happy and enjoy her life, that everything would crumble in front of her?

"Fuck you! Fuck you shithead! You can go to hell!" The ukaku ghoul growled.

The girl stayed curled up on the ground, hugging her pillow while sobbing silently. She was all alone, alone, broken and worst of all; there was no one to comfort her.

She stayed blankly at the calendar that was hanging on her wall; 24th of December. In other words, Christmas Eve. The day she and Kaneki were supposed to spend together. Enjoy each other's company and celebrate that the half-ghoul was finally back at home, back at Anteiku.

Instead, she was in her room. 'Such holidays are so stupid.' The teen thought. It's only meant for commercial purposes. Touka wondered, if she was meant to be alone for the rest of her life. Just to let herself get drowned in misery.

Her tears finally dried after hours of crying. She stood up and wiped her face from any remaining tears. Touka guessed that she was a mess by now, but she didn't care. She would show him.

Show him that she wouldn't allow to be messed with. If he comes crawling back, begging for her forgiveness, she would beat the crap out of him and show him that everyone would be fine even without his stupid face.

Her heart still throbbed from the pain, but she could handle it, it wasn't the first time she's been betrayed, not the first time they've lied to her.

"All men are fucking liars..." The ukaku ghoul mumbled, before leaving her room and make herself some coffee. Lamenting about the times she spent with him... She wished she had more time to tell him... Her real feelings.

"I fucking hate you... Lair..."

The girl slammed the door of her apartment hard. She refused to drown in her misery, so she left for fresh air, leaving her apartment in deathly silence.

In the back of her closet, a neatly wrapped up present still laid there, waiting to fulfil its purpose. Though to Touka's lamenting, she knew that the day would never come. The present she was so eager to give, would stay there quietly, until the day arrives, when the silent storm would finally settle to make place for the sun.

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><p>After-note about the chapter: The first part of this fic was actually part of one-shot 4, but it didn't seem suitable so I decided to cut it and use it for this chapter, since she's more broken and sad, followed by determination and anger here and in chapter 4 worry was eating her away, while trying to hold onto hope later on. Also, when you reread Tokyo Ghoul very often, you come across scenes that gives you the urge to explore them more, like I had with one-shot 2 and this one. Sure this isn't the most profound chapter. In my opinion, I still did my best. Ah, the work of a writer is never finished and we always want to add more details! Let's say my urge to write came also with the fact that I had so much inspiration for the future chapters so I just wrote and wrote and wrote! Using the feeling of sadness that I tried to build up inside me with music, so I could turn it into words. Not easy to do when you're not feeling sad, but my Touken feels helped me with that.<p>

I hoped you guys enjoyed the chapter. Even if I don't feel super satisfied with it, I still tried my best. Content is always better than length, so it should be good and entertaining for you. please leave a review to increase this flower's confidence. I'm going back to singing and practising the songs I have to sing tomorrow.

Hasta la próxima vez chicos! Nos vemos!


	7. Thoughts and Feelings

Yaaay another update! And this one took less than the last one! This is for those who wanted more of our lovely Kaneki! I'm go glad I finally got time to reread it and correct all the grammar spelling and punctuations. Because every time I try to do it the computer is taken and when I finally have the time it's late and I'll have to go to bed. Ugh I seriously need a new laptop or a tablet or something where I can write and beta in peace.

Thanks a lot for all those lovely reviews. Yeah, your feedback has really made my day. I'm going to continue to do my best and write, write write till I drop! Some people are wondering; where do you get the time to update so fast? Well for those who have asked me and for those who haven't, but are still curious. Let's say I'm ahead of my schedule. I've written like 3 more chapters that only need beta reading and such, but I don't publish them because I don't want to rush anything. I just want to take my own space and relax while I also write more chapters, that way I don't need to think; Oh crap! I need to write another chapter because my lovely readers are waiting for more. I've written most of the chapters during Christmas holiday and also during the week I had exams, yeah because that's what you do when you have exams, you stress a lot and instead of studying you suddenly get inspiration to write and you jump all in the Tokyo Ghoul hype. Luckily Route A started just when I had my last exams and then well I have 3 weeks nothing... now 1 week, because 2 have already passed... *cries in a corner* I don't want my vacation to end I need more sleep and relaxing! I don't wan to stress again because that's when it goes wrong!

Well back to the chapter, enjoy guys! I poured a lot of emotions in this things and a lot of different emotions too. XD

BTW: I tend to not grammar check my author notes, because well, the story is more important for that, my notes are just some rantings and things I need to get out to share with you guys.

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><p>Thoughts and feelings<p>

Days had passed, no weeks and it was still hard to get over it for the half-ghoul. Too many things had been haunting him, be it nightmares from his torture days, the noise of something crawling in his ear, the screams, the taunts, the voices. To be honest, he has to urge to get out whatever was crawling in his ear, scratch it, poke it, but what hurt him most was that he left the people who had taken care of him since he had become a ghoul.

After his escape from Aogiri, Kaneki parted ways with his colleagues from Anteiku. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, especially when he saw Touka's speechless expression. He could almost feel her pain, the shock, everything, she looked so confused and sad. She didn't even talk back to him like she used to.

He wondered if he had been too hard on her... The face she showed... It was that of disappointment, shock and betrayal. He didn't keep his promise and he knew it. He said he'd stop by, but days, no weeks had passed and he still hadn't stopped by. He lied to her and he knew it.

Kaneki stared outside the window of his room. It was completely dark and the stars were present like always, alongside the full moon, but for some reason the night sky felt different to the one-eyed ghoul. The sky felt solemn, empty, unlike all the other times he had stared upwards.

He laughed bitterly. How drastic things turned out to be. He could hardly believe that a few weeks ago, he was just enjoying his daily life at Anteiku, attending university, work as a part timer at Anteiku and wondering if he could ask Touka to spend Christmas with him.

"This is for the best..." He reminded himself.

He glanced at his desk; two books lay there untouched. Kaneki tried to read them, but for some reason he didn't feel engrossed in them. Nothing could give him back what he had lost and apparently it was more than what he expected.

The half-ghoul held up his hand and stared at his black nails; another change due to his days captive at Aogiri, along with his white hair and personality change. Because... The previous him, wasn't able to protect anything.

Kaneki cracked his finger unconsciously.

The white-haired ghoul decided to take some fresh air, he put on a jacket, shove open the window and disappeared into the night.

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><p>The cold against his skin felt refreshing and he realized how satisfying a stroll in the night could be and he had to admit; the streets really looked different if you compared it during the day, it looked better during the night. Details you wouldn't notice otherwise were now visible, like the cracks in one of the walls, the smell of fresh paint, the sounds of the wind, stray cats, the eerie view the darkness gave in the shadows. You'd never know when it would be over for you. And with the present silence, all thanks to the growing fear of the citizens towards ghouls. Clearly a consequence of what happened in the 11th ward. Yes, he really needed this, this silence, this peace.<p>

'Touka-chan would have liked this...'

Kaneki looked up and noticed that he had headed towards the 20th ward unconsciously. A strange feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed him. It couldn't hurt to take a look at how the others were doing. As long as they didn't spot him.

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><p>The 20th ward was more lively, since it was still the most peaceful ward in Tokyo. Not that it bothered him, it was nostalgic and relieving for the half-ghoul. He decided to on the roof of one of the apartment buildings and enjoy his surroundings or better say; see what Touka was up to.<p>

The girl was in her room studying, surprisingly, still in her school uniform. She seemed so engrossed in it that she wasn't aware of her surroundings at all.

Kaneki stared at the teen's dark-blue hair, it seemed to be slightly longer than he remembered, it almost covered her neck completely. Had she decided to grow it out? It looked good on her he had to admit.

The half-ghoul kept his attention on the girl; observing her every movement; when she took the cup of coffee from her table and pressed those soft lips against the cup to take a sip. The lips he always wanted to try, but never had the opportunity to. He actually did have the opportunity, but the timing was quite bad, as the girl had to rush to the bathroom quickly. Talk about luck.

The white-haired male chuckled at the memory. It felt as if it was yesterday, but it was from another lifetime a more peaceful one.

He continued to observe the girl as she flipped through the pages of her book, took a sip from her drink, wrote down some notes, stored her book away, took out another her one and continued the process. His eyes focused on her lips, each time she placed them again the coffee cup, they looked to intoxicating.

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts when the ukaku ghoul suddenly got up. The girl took a glance from her now empty cup and frowned. She walked out of the room, probably to get a refill. A few seconds later she returned, a frown visible on her face. Turning to the mirror that hung in her closet. She checked her reflection in the mirror, eyes furrowing as she clearly noticed something and suddenly after one sigh, she took off her blouse.

Kaneki quickly closed his eyes in embarrassment. He felt his cheeks burning up slightly. If someone were to see him, they would have mistaken him for a pervert. Sure, what he was doing wasn't the most orthodox thing, but he didn't expect the girl to just strip without closing the curtains. Did no one warn her about the possible dangers or told her to appreciate her own privacy? Kaneki was a gentleman at heart, when it came to respecting someone's privacy, but if she was unlucky enough that some random passerby with indecent thoughts saw her...

He'd have to take care of the problem.

*crack*

After about 3 minutes, The half-ghoul opened his eyes again, to see the female having changed into some short pants and a hoodie. She left her room and came out of her apparent; all clothed in a warm coat with a scarf and gloves. She exited the building and headed towards the supermarket.

Kaneki decided to follow her from afar.

The girl kept her slow pace, unsuspecting anything. As she was nearing the supermarket, the girl suddenly stopped and turned around, glancing at Kaneki's direction. The male quickly hid in the shadows. He knew he was unfair towards her, but it was for her own good. After a few seconds of silence the girl turned around and entered the store.

Kaneki stayed frozen on his spot, waiting patiently for the teen to appear again.

And as he expected, Touka came out of the shop a few minutes later, two bags filled with coffee in both hands. Again she scanned her surroundings like a crow. He figured the female ghoul had felt his gaze, since its Touka we're talking about, but still, despite his excellent hiding skill, the girl was surprisingly good at detecting people near her surroundings or was it what they called woman's intuition?

After a few moments of finding nothing, she continued her walk back to her apartment. Kaneki decided to stay hidden in the shadows, since the girl was probably on alert now.

The half-ghoul had the urge to talk to her... But he knew that he couldn't, he shouldn't. The white-haired male froze when two men walked towards the girl. He wasn't able to grasp much from the conversation because of the distance, but from the gestures it seemed like the guys were hitting on her. The half-ghoul clenched his teeth, but refrained himself from revealing his presence. This was Touka, she wouldn't like the unwanted attention and if they piss her off, she'd dispose of them immediately. So he decided to stay silent and focus on the girl's face to calm his raging impulses.

The ukaku ghoul tried politely to reject them and head back to her home, but they grabbed her wrist. She tried to shake them off again, a bit more persistent, but when they still refused to do so. As a result, her patience waned. She turned around and she kicked the first guy in his nuts, who fell immediately on the ground; cringing in pain. She grabbed the other one by his collar, probably hissing some threats after punching him in his stomach. After that she let go and continued walking, while the man fell on the ground like a rag doll, obviously scared to death. Kaneki chuckled and his lips formed into a small smile. Yup, that's the Touka he knew and loved. To be honest, even he would get shivers from her tantrums, maybe becoming terrified in the past even.

The girl stopped again and this time she looked immediately at Kaneki's direction. The half-ghoul, who was still hidden in the shadows stayed quiet. He just stared at the 17 year-old's fierce glare and then.. The girl stuck out her tongue and showed him the finger. She turned around, grabbed her bags and entered her apartment.

Kaneki stayed put, trying to register what had happened... Did she knew he was watching her? Or had she only figured out that someone was observing her... No, she probably knew it was him, why else would she show that same fierce attitude she always showed him whenever he was getting on her nerves?

He couldn't blame her... It was his fault. He was the one who left, who lied to her...

"I'm sorry Touka-chan..."

* * *

><p>Touka closed the door of her apartment silently and stared at the floor. Her hands were shaking, she tried her best to keep her composure, but it was crumbling faster than she wanted. When she couldn't take it anymore, she threw the coffee bags as hard as she could against the wall.<p>

What was the bastard doing here? Was he stalking her? Why did he have to be there? She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to think about him... She was doing fine... Better than ever.

"Fuck it! Fuck fuck fuck!"

She threw her hands on her head and pulled her hair in frustration. A groan escaped her lips as tears came down slowly, she didn't want them to fall, she didn't want to be weak, she was done with him. She had no need for guys who would fill her heart with false promises and leave her later on.

The female ghoul slumped to the ground, teeth gritted as her tears kept flowing down. She dried them harshly with her sleeves. She stared at the bags with coffee and huffed.

"No point in fussing about it." She told herself repeatedly.

The girl got up from her position and grabbed the bag as she went over to the kitchen. She started to make coffee as she glanced out of the window, wondering if she could take a glance of the white locks... They were gone now.

Touka sighed. Oh well it spared her the difficulty to restrain herself from trying to kill him. Besides, if he ever were to show his face again... She'd give him a piece of her mind.

"I don't need liars..."

* * *

><p>Kaneki was back in his room, leaning across the balcony and staring at the sky again. His thoughts were focused on what happened 30 minutes ago. Touka... He had no words to describe how he felt after seeing her again. She seemed like he was doing fine, like she didn't care and it bothered him somehow... He was sure she was just pretending to be fine, as the glare she had said enough. She did miss him, but was it as much as he misses her?<p>

His fingers twitched uncomfortably. He had the sudden urge to touch her hair, tangle his fingers between her locks as he would take the girl in a long, deep kiss and trailing kisses down her body, claiming her as his...

Kaneki blinked a few times and tore his face away from the sky. He had enough fresh air for now. The white-haired male entered his room and shave the door shut. He collapsed on his bed and let out a deep sigh, hoping to get some rest.

The man knew that it would be a matter of time before he couldn't restrain himself longer and would end up in front of her doorstep. He knew that he couldn't stay away from her very long, because the thought of Touka continuing with her life and getting together with another man, was something he couldn't tolerate. But as long as he was able to tolerate the separation, he would bear with it.

The half-ghoul took a few deep breaths and calmed down. For now he had to focus on his mission. Touka was safe and that was all that mattered to him. As long as she and everyone else; the manager, Irimi, Enji, Nishiki... Hide... As long as all of them were safe, he'd be satisfied. They wouldn't need to be preoccupied with the troubles of the world.

He'd pluck all the bad coffee beans that dare to destroy his home...

*crack*

* * *

><p>After-note about the chapter: I think I really should write this when I'm still working on the chapters, because the ideas and all are then still fresh. XD hahaha. Anyway this one-shot was actually part of the previous one-shot where I wanted to have both thoughts of Kaneki and Touka about their separation. But, I felt like this one didn't fit completely with the theme I had for Liar, so I decided to split it in the end and well add more details to this one. This one shouldn't be as angsty as the others; is what I decided, so I wanted to put some more happier themes, like a bit of comedy for the laughs and a better view on Kaneki's affections for Touka. Not completely stable of course, but that's t he Kaneki we all love and such. I'd find for Kaneki keeping an eye on Touka instead of appearing in front of her more fitting towards the actions he had taken, since he doesn't want to involve her with any danger he is facing. But as we know nothing goes perfectly and even Kaneki knows that.<p>

Thank you for listening to my rants and please leave a review with feedback or anything else. If you have questions, suggestions, I'll be happy to read them. Or if you just want to talk that's also fine. Again thank you for your attention and until next time. :)


	8. Reunion

Yaay another update in such a short time! How awesome am I? I've been so exited to post this chapter. I bet you've been all waiting for this, right? I bet since I have tortured you guys enough. Not intentionally, I swear! I bet you guys will be as exited as I have been when I wrote this!

So I don't know why but every time I try to post or better say want to post my next chapter or check on grammar or whatever, everyone else in the house needs the computer... Is it some kind of curse or something? At least this time I didn't allow that to happen!

I want to thank all my supporters, readers, reviewers, favourites, followers. Yeah I know I do it every chapter, but you guys really deserve it, it is you who keep this story alive and going... and my obsession and love for Tokyo Ghoul and Touken of course. :) reading all those comments makes me laugh, gives me joy, energy and so on!

Ah I think I'm running out of things to say... anyway, hop on and enjoy this long awaited chapter!

* * *

><p>Reunion<p>

What Touka had labeled to be an average day, turned out to be quite the opposite. At least in the morning, when she got up and went to her classes, was something she considered normal. When she had to brace herself and eat Yoriko's food again during lunchbreak, that was also normal... for her, except for the extra secret ingredient, as Yoriko called it. That made her gag terribly. She couldn't even hide it from her classmates. Why did Yoriko have to engulf herself with the foreign culinary dishes? At least no one found Touka's reaction odd. Be honest, who would want to eat a strange French dish with... She didn't remember what it was, but it was too much. The weirdest thing was when Yoriko started to apologize and that she would be more careful next time. Touka wondered what the French dish was...

At least her shift at Anteiku went eventful. Nishiki had to keep his girlfriend busy, who decided to drop by. Enji was still wondering how Nishiki was able to get a girlfriend like Kimi in the first place, Irimi just continued with her work, Roma was trying not to drop any more cups and the manager just did his job like always.

She trained with Yomo afterwards for a few hours and headed home when they finished. That was when it happened. She had inserted her keys in the lock when she felt someone behind her... And when he called her name... That was when she froze.

"Hello Touka-chan."

She turned around slowly, hardly believing what happened. She was staring at him, HIM, in living flesh, those same melancholic eyes, the same white hair. The girl just stood there until she finally got over her shock.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" The girl barked.

Kaneki just stayed put, unfazed by her attitude, but of course he wouldn't, he wasn't the same anymore...

"I... Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Well, as you can see I'm as fine as fuck! So go back to your little place! I don't want to see you shithead!"

"I'm sorry... I know that I hurt you..."

"Save your pity excuses for later, dumbass! You think I'd pass it off as if nothing happened?! Well, think twice!" Her blood was boiling with anger and sadness, hadn't he done enough? She was doing fine without him. Why did he have to appear in front of her, with that same painted expression he had when they separated? It made it more painful than it already was.

"I just want you to be safe... I don't want you to get hurt, you and the others."

"You have my gratitude, your highness!" The ukaku ghoul spat sarcastically. "But what do you know about what's safe for me and what's not?! You don't know a fucking thing about me!" The girl's voice became uncontrollable, she felt tears already forming in her eyes, but she didn't give a damn anymore, she was sick of it all. "You don't give a shit! You don't even care about trying to know! You only think about your selfish actions! You don't even care what others feel! Well, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of the empty promises! I don't need any fucking liars!"

By now the girl had broken into sobbing and hiccups as she couldn't control her emotions. Her vision was blurred from the tears, but she didn't care anymore, it didn't matter anymore if the idiot saw her weak, fragile, vulnerable side. Everything she tried to hide... It didn't matter. She just wanted it to spill over and get over with it. The girl was pounding angrily with her fist on his shoulders, not that she could much force in it at the moment.

The girl didn't even flinched when she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her torso, nor when she felt his breath close to her ear. "I'm sorry..."

Touka didn't answer, his words fell empty to her.

"I'm so sorry Touka-chan."

Touka gritted her teeth. "I... Fucking hate you!" She barked between her sobs.

"I know..."

"Go crawl in a hole and die!"

"I swear, I won't make you sad again."

Touka didn't answer, she just kept crying and Kaneki didn't expect her to. He decided to get her inside, since they would draw quite some attention.

The half-ghoul made her sit on the couch, while the girl buried her face in his shirt and continued to cry her eyes out, until she fell asleep. Kaneki hadn't moved an inch since she lost conciousness, he just continued with comforting her, rubbing her back gently in circles. He hadn't expected that she would be 'that' distraught, she really cared a lot for him.

Kaneki gently placed his hand in her hair. It was softer than he remembered and longer too. He caressed her gently as he stared at her face. The tears haven't dried, but at least she calmed down a little.

The teen wondering if his memories had done any good, because she looked absolutely stunning. He kissed her forehead lovingly and whispered apologies to her. How he really regretted leaving her, how he missed her, how he wanted her by his side and how much he treasured her.

"... Father..." Touka mumbled in her sleep.

Kaneki stared at the girl, she looked restless and distraught. Her words stayed on his mind. _'You don't know a fucking thing about me!'_

Perhaps she was right, he didn't know anything about her background. Only that her brother Ayato was one of the higher ups in Aogiri. She never mentioned her parents so he figured they were killed by doves probably...

_'You remind me of my shitty father!'_

Her parents were probably peaceful ghouls, who were unlucky, just like Hinami's parents. It explains why Ayato was so focused on getting stronger. Their parents were probably no fighters and that's why they died.

"I promise, I won't allow anyone to harm you... **I'll pluck every one of them that gets in the way**."

*crack*

Kaneki snapped out of his thoughts when Touka shifted, when he turned to her, he was met with her slightly groggy and confused face. She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times when she noticed she was on her couch with Kaneki. "How did you get in?" She asked immediately.

"The keys were already inside the lock."

"Oh..." The ukaku ghoul mumbled, as she tried to rub her eyes again, hoping to get the sleepiness from her foggy mind and body.

"I'm really sorry Touka-chan... I didn't mean to hurt you." The white-haired man apologized again.

"I got it already..." The girl answered nonchalantly, her voices was voided from any type of emotion. She stared at Kaneki questionable. He was surprisingly close, she stood up, acting as if what happened before never occurred. "You want some coffee? The girl asked.

The half-ghoul only nodded as the girl walked to her kitchen. Deja-vu seemed to overtake the girl, it was just like the time when she offered him to stay at her place until he calmed down from his nightmares after the incident with Tsukiyama. Only this time the nervousness and awkward mood had completely disappeared and the current Kaneki was different, calmer and not even nervous at all. It felt pleasingly strange.

The room was quiet for a while, until Touka finally decided to open her mouth. "So, what's the reason for your unexpected visit?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing." Kaneki repeated.

The female ghoul snorted. "If that's the case, then you could just stalk me like you did last time." She commented bitterly.

The man was silent, he stared at the 17 year-old's back, trying to come up with the words to phrase his sentence. "I missed you. I missed you and I wanted to see you..."

Touka didn't answer. Slightly shocked by his blunt and honest answer, she focused on the coffee. "For 2 months, you were gone and we haven't heard anything from you and now you just suddenly show up, because you missed me?" She finally turned her head to look at the half-ghoul, while waiting for the coffee to heat. Arms crossed under her chest and a frown present on her face. "Don't expect me to forgive you that easily."

"I don't expect you to."

The teen didn't say anything and turned back to the coffee machine. Another silence filled the room and this time it annoyed Touka to no end. It made her feel uncomfortable and uncertain, she wasn't used to this... 'new' Kaneki. Finally, deciding that she wouldn't gain much by staying on the current subject, she decided to lighten the mood a bit by changing it. "Yoriko is getting more obsessed with the food from Europe. It's becoming almost impossible to endure it." The girl made a gagging sound. "It took me hours to wash my teeth and to get rid of that horrible taste."

There was a silence first, before Touka felt his gaze on her. "Your face does look a bit pale, I was wondering if you were still eating her food." The half-ghoul answered.

"Not often, only once in a while. I told her that she shouldn't go through so much trouble. Strangely enough, she was apologizing today. I don't know why."

Kaneki stayed quiet, having an inkling of what the reason could be, when he recalled the note he found months ago.

"And we got a new girl at Anteiku." The girl continued. "Roma, she's kinda clumsy and chaotic, but a good person."

"That's good to hear." Kaneki answered. "At least the work load hasn't increased for you and Nishio-sempai."

Touka snorted. "Sure, she keeps tripping and she's getting on shitty Nishiki's nerves, but that's one of the good points. Seriously, she's causing more trouble than you did when you still worked at Anteiku."

The ukaku ghoul took both cups and placed them on the table. She sat down next to Kaneki and sighed. "It also became very quiet..."

The half-ghoul glanced at the girl, confused. "You mean Anteiku?"

"Anteiku, the 20th ward... There are less incidents... But the doves are still crawling around..."

"Ah..."

Touka took a sip from her cup and leant back against the couch. It was strange... Despite the current silence, it didn't fell awkward anymore. As if just sitting next to each other, enjoying each other's presence was enough.

"Your coffee, really, is delicious." Kaneki complimented.

"Thanks, I've been practicing. Trying some new tricks." She answered. She stayed quiet for a while, until she decided to ask what had been occupying most of her thoughts. "So, what have you been up to the last couple of weeks?"

Kaneki stared at his cup. "Not much actually, wandering around, trying to get stronger and collecting information. Tsukiyama is very resourceful and he has a lot of connections." The ringaku ghoul decided to keep quiet about him starting to cannibalize ghouls, she would probably become more distressed than she already is.

Touka only nodded, she still wasn't fond of the idea that Tsukiyama was part of Kaneki's group. "How's Hinami?"

"She's fine. She stays inside most of the time, because there's still a chance that someone will recognize her, but she doesn't mind much, it gives her time to read. During the time I have not much to do I help her with her Kanji. She's doing really well, but I guess she still misses you..."

"I see, well tell her I said hi and that I also miss her."

"I will." Kaneki took another sip from his drink, his eyes still glued on the drink. "Say, Touka-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight?"

This caught the girl off guard. Sure, she had calmed down and decided to slide Kaneki's selfish decision. Partly accepted that Kaneki stopped by, because he... missed her. Not that she was completely sure about that. But he did said that he would visit from time to time, in which, he did keep his words and she had poured all those bottled up feelings out, but she always thought that it would be visits of a few hours, then again she didn't expect him to show up at her apartment either. Maybe it was because of guilt? "I don't really mind... But are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, I'm still waiting for information before making my next move and Hinami-chan is with Banjou and the others, they know I'd be gone for a while to clear my mind."

"Alright, I can prepare Hinami's old room for you."

"It's alright, I can sleep on the couch."

"The couch isn't that comfortable, you won't get any proper sleep and it won't consume much time to prepare the room."

Touka stood up and took the empty cups to the sink. She quickly washed them and headed towards the now proclaimed guest room. Kaneki followed the girl and grabbed her by her wrist before she opened the door. The ukaku ghoul turned around to stare at those melancholic eyes, that despite the change, still held gentleness. "Let me help you then, it's the least I can do."

Touka nodded as she allowed the half-ghoul to enter the room. They finished pretty quickly, which left them with some small talk about different random topics. She didn't know why, maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other for so long or maybe it was because she finally realized what Kaneki was to her, but she felt like it was so easy to talk to him, she felt comfortable around him and somehow Kaneki was bolder than his past-self would be. Not minding their closeness at all; like grabbing her hand, or offering to help with whatever it was she had trouble with and she also felt like his gaze was following her every second.

"So, instead of stalking me from afar you'll be harassing me personally whenever you have the time?" The girl asked, sounding slightly sarcastic, while shuffling through her sideboard, looking for any movies they could watch.

"I think visiting is more appropriate." Kaneki corrected her. "I know, I promised that I wouldn't leave you alone and haven't kept that promise, so this is the least I can do."

"I still haven't forgiven you completely for that." The female ghoul answered. "Ah!" She took out five Blu Rays. The movies were mostly suspense, thriller or horror some had a bit of comedy, since romance wasn't her thing at all. It sounded so sleazy to her, kinda ironic, if it were a few years ago, she would have gagged about the idea of falling in love and all the romance stuff, but now... Well the idea of romance still felt awkward for her and she wasn't the person who'd act all girly and stuff for whatever reason. Sure, she accepted the concept of love and her feelings, but since it was Kaneki, it probably wouldn't be your everyday experience or relation.

She allowed herself to glance at the said half-ghoul, who was touching his eye patch. He felt her eyes on him and looked at her questionably. "Is there something wrong?"

"Ahh, no. I was just wondering what movie we could watch."

"What kind of movies do you have?" He got up from the couch and walked over to the girl, standing right behind her as he scanned the shelf curiously.

"You probably haven't seen any of those movies." Touka muttered.

"To be honest, I hardly watch movies." The half-ghoul replied. "Only once in a while when Hide invited me..."

"Is that so..."

Silence filled the room. Touka could guess how much he missed his friend. It was one of the subjects they probably wouldn't talk about, along with what happened to him at Aogiri and the reason behind his actions.

"How about this one?" Kaneki took a Blu Ray with the title Hana-bi. A story about two ex-cops, one who ended up in a wheelchair and decided to dedicate his life to painting and the other one had taken the path of bank robbing, in the hope to give his wife a little bit of comfort for her remaining days of life. Despite the name, it had a lot of action.

"It's been a while since I've seen that one." Touka commented. She took the Blu Ray, while Kaneki made himself comfortable on the couch.

Touka quickly disappeared into her bedroom and returned with two blankets. "It's hard to enjoy a movie when you're shivering." She commented.

To be honest Kaneki hardly noticed the cold or anything else... After all that happened to him, he became more tolerable to pain and temperature changes, but he still appreciated the girl's concern. "Thank you."

The girl handed him one of the blankets, she was about the sit next to him, when Kaneki grabbed her and sat her on his lap, wrapping the blankets around the two of them and her slim body between his arms.

Touka's eyes widened, but before she could say anything the half-ghoul opened his mouth. "Just for the moment, please."

She stared at those eyes again, the hurt, the sadness and the gentleness when he looked at her, how could she say no? The blue-haired girl sighed in defeat and rested her head against him. "Fine, but only for a while."

"Thank you." He pulled her closer, which made her squeak in surprise while the film started.

They stayed silent for the rest of the movie, both too focused on the screen, well at least Touka mostly, as Kaneki couldn't help but steal glances at the girl. Truth to be told, the teen couldn't believe it himself; he was enjoying a movie with Touka and she didn't show any objection against his advances towards her. She said she was still mad at him, but it didn't seem to be like that was the case at the moment. A woman's mind really was like a labyrinth filled with mysteries. She was upset and crying one moment and now she acted as if it never happened. He didn't understand it, but as long as Touka was happy, he was willing to do whatever he had to do to keep her that way. _**'Even if it included getting rid of any vermin.'**_

*crack*

Touka became startled by Kaneki's sudden habits. She didn't remember him having it before. Did he develop that during his capture? If she remembered correct, Yamori; the ghoul that was a member from Aogiri had the same habit; cracking his fingers once in a while. The girl decided to play ignorant, as she didn't want to pry. If Kaneki wanted to tell her one day, then he would.

"The book, you recommended me to read for my report, I read it." The ukaku ghoul said, trying to forget her worries and to bring Kaneki out of his thoughts, whatever they were.

Apparently it worked, the half-ghoul turned his attention to the girl. "Really? Did you enjoy it?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't understand it, at least I passed it."

"Your exams are coming up, aren't they?"

"Yeah, I started studying already." The girl said.

"You think you'll pass literature?"

"I'm not sure... As you know, I still suck at it."

"If you want, I can revise it with you tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, that would be a great help."

Kaneki rested his head on her shoulder, breathing in her scent. He was surprised with how much he missed it. "I really missed you." The male mumbled.

"Me too." The girl answered, her cheeks burning red from the sudden intimacy.

The ringaku ghoul began to plant kisses down the girl's collarbone, making her gasp in surprise. She gave in, in the end, as she answered back by pressing her lips against his. The movie, which was still playing was completely forgotten as the two ghoul engulfed themselves in expressing their feelings for each other in intimate pleasure.

This really was a day Touka hadn't expected. What started as a normal day ended with an unorthodox reunion between her and the guy who had opened the door to her heart. How quickly situation could change. Now only one thing is occupying the girl's mind. How will things develop from here?

* * *

><p>After-note about the chapter: This fic had got my Touken feelings running on max! Yes as I said before I enjoyed this sooo much, though I feel like they're a bit OOC here... not sure :S. I really wanted to convey Touka's feelings, have her spill all those bottled up feelings and thoughts. I know you all expected her to beat the crap out of him and not only yell, curse and call him names, but well when I read Touka and Kaneki's reunion for the first time, it also turned out different than we expected. Between the 6 months Touka changed drastically, I think she still has a big mouth and a temper, but she became more mature too. Kaneki leaving had a big impact on her and in this chapter you can see how much of an impact. All those days she was crying alone in her apartment because every man in her live left her; Arata, Ayato and Kaneki and she had no one to turn to, just the silent walls of her apartment, of course all those feelings would spill when Kaneki suddenly appears in front of her. Things she wanted to say to him, she suddenly could convey them, her feelings everything, so that's why I decided to have her break down instead. Because I think that's how Touka would act. She still hasn't matured completely so yeah her foul mouth is still in play, but her violent tendencies have diminished, unless you piss her off. As for Kaneki, well not sure what to say, he's selfish and he couldn't stay away from her any longer. So there you have it a very broken, affectionate man, who finally has the chance to be with the girl he loves... for a short time.<p>

Thank you you for reading this chapter and please leave a review. Until the next chapter!


	9. When Love Blossoms

Ah finally I feel like my head is going to explode or something. Words they're everywhere! Why is this affecting me so much? Since when is this affecting me so much! I used to update soo often when I started writing and then I actually wrote one chapter each day for like a few weeks! Reread the chapter idk how often to check grammar and spelling. That didn't help much... but using a website is ugh it takes soo long! Copy and paste every time, then go back and edit the text. Ahh my brain! No fun especially when you upload 2 chapters for different stories.

Anyway here's the next chapter. At least you didn't need to wait long guys. More fluff and romance guys. I guess a little bit of angst and tragic moments, but hey Touken is a tragic ship. At least it's minimum, so please I hope you won't cry after reading the end of this chapter, no wait, if you do that means it's a good chapter so please go ahead and cry your eyes out and feel miserable. :) While I continue playing Pokémon Omega Ruby.

If any of you guys owns Omega Ruby, Alpha Sapphire, X or Y and wants to change friend codes, feel free to message me or ask in a review or whatever. The more the better. :)

I'm so happy with all the reviews I've gotten, it's really interesting to read your opinions on my chapters and it gives me an opportunity to talk more. We have over 50 reviews for just 8 chapters! OMG and more than 10K views! Congratz to maplecat for being my 50th reviewer. told you already today, but I just wanted to say it again... I have to come up with something as a reward... but what... If I was as confident with my drawing skills I'd draw something, but I'm not. :S Maybe an separate one-shot! You can request whatever you want, AU, manga verse anime verse, what situation, genre etc. Just not something too hard, because my brains need some rest.

The next person he is the 100th review will also receive an one-shot upon request. Call me crazy I know I am.

Now an important message, my college starts again next week, second half of my semester, so I'll be very busy and probably won't have any time to update, unless I decide to write in the train instead of sleeping. The good news is, I have still 3 chapters finished that are ready to be published, after some revising for grammar and spelling. What I want to ask you guys; do you want me to update them all in one go? Or do you want me to update them slowly, so you wont get that impatient with the slow updates?

So guys enjoy the chapter!

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><p>When love blossoms<p>

It was surprisingly early, around six am. The streets were still covered in darkness, but not as dark as it would have been around December. Kaneki opened his eyes as he rose slowly from his slumber. His body felt stiff, but he was able to have a good rest, surprisingly.

The half-ghoul noticed he had slept on the couch, wrapped up in yesterday's blanket and Touka, sleeping between his arms. So, in the end he didn't use the room Touka prepared for him after all.

The TV was still on, since both of them had forgotten about it. Kaneki grabbed the control remote from the table and turned it off. He was surprised how they were able to sleep with the light of the tv on. The young man glanced at his recently proclaimed lover. She was sleeping peacefully; her breathing synchronized with his.

He recalled the previous night, the teen felt that he had such an urge to touch her. He was surprised that the girl hadn't said anything at all or tried to stop him, since Touka is not fond of being caught off guard. They hadn't done anything else, just kissing, he knew his boundaries and what they had shared last night together was enough for him... For now.

He took a lock of her hair, that was falling over the girl's face and kissed the tips, at the same time Touka stirred, she opened her eyes drowsily and stared right into the half-ghoul's eyes. There was a silence, until Touka blinked a few times. "What time is it?"

"It's still early, if you want, you can go back to sleep."

The ukaku ghoul nodded and she rested her head on his chest again and closed her eyes, sighing in content. Good thing today was her day off.

"Were you able to sleep?" She asked.

"Mhm." The teen answered.

"I hope I wasn't that heavy for you."

Kaneki chuckled. "Don't worry, you're not."

Touka closed her eyes and tried to sleep a bit more, but to no avail. It was pretty hard when you know someone is staring at you and the fact that Kaneki played with her hair, didn't help either. "Are you doing this on purpose?" She asked.

"Do what?" Kaneki asked as he continued playing with her hair.

"That." The girl explained while she took his hand and unwrapped it slowly from her locks.

"Ah, sorry I didn't mean to."

"It's alright." Touka reassured. After a few more minutes of silence and failed attempt to return to her sleep she sighed in frustration. Her urge to sleep had completely disappeared, so she got off the couch. "Are you hungry? I have more than enough."

Kaneki considered her offer, it wasn't that he was hungry, he had been eating quite well... Devouring those who stood in his way, but it tasted terrible, not as terrible as human food, but still...

"I guess, I'm a little hungry." He decided.

Touka glanced at him suspiciously and disappeared into the kitchen. After a while she came back with two cups of coffee and a stack of human flesh. "You're still growing, no need to act all girly." She snorted as she placed the plate in front of the half-ghoul. "Or do you want me to stuff it down your throat like the first time?"

Her sarcastic and rude remarks really hadn't changed. "Thank you." He answered as he took the plate.

"I'll take a shower in the main time. After I finish, you can use it if you want. I still have that toothbrush for you." She glanced at the male ghoul. "You probably haven't got any spare clothes with you?"

"No."

Touka said nothing. So he actually hadn't planned to stay the night first. She wondered what made him change his mind... Never mind, the answer was obvious.

"I guess we'll have to buy some new ones then. It's still early so most shops haven't opened yet."

From the corner of her eye, she saw the half-ghoul looking amused. "What?" The girl asked, raising her eyebrow in the progress.

"No, nothing, it's just cute, how you worry about such a small thing."

"You slept in your clothes, they stink and need to be washed." The girl pointed out.

"I can change later." Kaneki answered. His expression was solid, showing Touka that he wouldn't change his mind. "Besides..." He continued as he took his lover's hands and pulled her closer into an embrace. "I want to spend my time with you, Touka-chan."

Her cheeks flushed slightly. "Since when did you learn how to sweat talk a woman?"

"Who knows."

Touka sighed as she pulled away. "Alright, but let me refresh myself first and you!" She pointed at the white-haired male. "Eat your food first!"

Like that she disappeared into her bedroom.

The white-haired teen sunk back into the couch and sighed. He wondered if he had made the right choice, wouldn't this be harder for her when he leaves again? But he had abandoned her once already, when he told her she couldn't go with him and he didn't want to betray her again. On top of that, when he recalled the night he went to check up on her and saw those humans trying to pick her up... He felt an urge of jealousy and possessiveness. He didn't want Touka to belong to anyone else. He saw her first, she was his. She was like him; afraid to be left alone, to be abandoned by those she cares about. And that's why, it was up to him to protect her and to be there for her, to prevent her from feeling alone and abandoned, to make her smile, instead of showing the broken expression she had yesterday, even if he hasn't done that quite well the last couple of weeks. He would be sure that he would do better, no matter how selfish it was.

Kaneki stared at the plate in front of him. He might as well enjoy it, after all it would probably be one of the few good meals he'll have.

The moment he sunk his teeth into the raw flesh, he could feel his kakugan manifesting in his left eye. Thanks to his unusual diet the meat tasted like heaven to him. Even before Aogiri kidnapped him, he tried to eat as little as possible. How foolish had he been then. Kaneki savored the sweet taste. The was a bit juicy and sure it tasted like it had been stored for a while, but it was way better than the ghouls he devoured.

While Kaneki continued his meal in peace. Touka returned, a towel hung around her neck and her hair was damp. Kaneki turned his attention to the female, giving her a melancholic, but warm smile. "Welcome back, Touka-chan."

"Are you enjoying your meal?" The girl asked as she approached the eating ghoul.

"Yeah, thank you."

Touka only nodded as she took the now empty plate and cups and brought them to the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Kaneki asked.

"Maybe later, I'm not very hungry at the moment." The girl replied as she took a seat next to the guy.

Kaneki leaned in, as he pulled her back into an embrace, enjoying the scent of her freshly washed hair. It smelled so alluring, pleasant, like jasmine. "You smell so nice, Touka-chan."

Touka wondered if Kaneki's sudden need for contact was to blame thanks to being surrounded by mostly guys everyday. Hinami is more like a little sister to him, but she wondered how much time he spent with her. Or maybe Tsukiyama's creepy behavior made him crave for woman contact. Or maybe it was because he was a guy, he was still at that age and she was always surprised at his decent behaviour. Despite his age, he was always gentle and polite. "Thanks." The blue-haired teen answered.

He kissed her neck gently, not wanting her to feel any more uncomfortable and slowly made his way to her mouth as he gently pushed the girl on her back and continued.

Touka returned the kiss eagerly, suddenly feeling as if she had recovered something she lost a long time ago.

Both their hands were tangled in each others hair and Touka let out a soft moan. She felt as if butterflies had invested her stomach, fluttering everywhere and giving her this strange happy feeling, she didn't hate it at all.

Maybe it would have been better to have him brush his teeth first, as she could clearly taste his breakfast. Those thoughts were quickly tossed out of the window when his tongue met hers. Yup screw that, they're both at that age and she had enough of feeling lonely and hopeless.

They broke away after a while for air. Touka panted heavily as she looked through hazed eyes at Kaneki, who returned the stare with passion.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Touka said.

Kaneki stared at her confused and slightly curiously, it increased when she suddenly wrapped a blindfold around his head. "What are you planning?" The white-haired ghoul asked.

"It's a surprise, you'll see." His lover answered.

The half-ghoul stayed put and decided to focus on the sounds around him and with sounds, he meant Touka's movements.

Her footsteps got closer as she entered the room. He suddenly felt something placed on his lap, which made him more curious. When the blindfold was released the male blinked in surprise at the present in front of him.

"I wanted to give it to you on your birthday back then, but since that wasn't possible, I thought I could do it now.. Better late than never, right?" The female ghoul explained. "So, uh, happy late birthday, I hope you like it, because I have no clue what you would prefer..." The teen trailed off.

Curiously, the white-haired male unwrapped the present. It was of course a book, one he hadn't heard of before. He scanned the summary quickly. "Thank you." He said as he hugged a surprised Touka.

"So, you like it?" The girl asked

"Yeah, it looks like an interesting story."

"I'm sorry we couldn't celebrate it in a proper way."

"Don't worry about it, what's done is done." Kaneki released his lover, only to kiss her forehead over and over. When he was done, he stood up. "You wouldn't mind if I take a shower now, would you?"

Touka shook her head. "Just make sure to brush your teeth too."

Kaneki was quiet for a while, trying to figure out why she pointed it out. "Ah, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, go take that shower!" She commanded.

Kaneki did as he told without any protest. The water was warm and comforting. The stiffness in his body had quickly disappeared. He stared at his hands, they used to be smooth, but now they were slightly rough and the nails didn't make it look any better. He didn't care much about the unhealthy colour they had, it was proof of how much he had changed, how much his life had changed and how short happiness was. He knew that happiness never lasted, he had experienced it too often. He'd return to the world of fighting, devouring and survival today. To continue to look for answers and to protect those who he saw as his family.

Kaneki rested his head against the wall, letting the warm water fall on his back, down till it touched the ground and disappeared into the sink. "I hope that you will forgive me for my selfishness..." He mumbled.

After he got out of the shower, he reached for his clothes only to find them not there. Confused, he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. A pair of clean clothes, apparently new shirt and pants laid in front of him. He picked them up and stared at them. Had Touka gone out in that short time just for this?

A smile crept on his face, his gloomy mood lifted slightly. She was more than he deserved.

He closed the bathroom door and quickly put the new clothes on, luckily they were the right size. When he exited, he saw Touka reading through some books, probably studying for her exams. "Need a hand?" He asked.

The blue-haired girl quickly turned her head. "Yeah. I'm still struggling. Do you have the time for it?"

The half-ghoul nodded and sat down next to her. "What is it you need me to explain this time?"

"I'm supposed to know the difference between the styles of these poems, but I don't even understand what they mean." The girl huffed.

Kaneki glanced over at the page. "These are difficult ones. Most people wouldn't get it either, so there's no need to be frustrated."

"Thanks, I'm feeling much better." Touka answered sarcastically.

No matter how long it had been, the girl hadn't changed, maybe a little, but her sarcastic remarks and sharp tongue were still present. He had really missed that and the tutoring with her especially. "The poems look so similar, because they use similar elements, but what makes them different is that the elements have a different meaning in both poems and they're used in different ways. Warm summer days, Withering flowers in autumn, the dark days of winter and the arrival of spring. The writer of the poem is suggesting about a loved one who passed away. The summer represents the time he had spent with his loved withering flowers in autumn symbolism the day when the person died, the dark winter days is the period where the writer mourned for the loss of his loved one and spring is the moment when he finally accepts her death and moves on with his life. Trying to find happiness again."

"Ah..."

Both of them were silent, since it felt too similar... Similar to the day Kaneki left... Because Touka too had been sad for the following days after, she had trouble with moving on and when she did... He came back...

Kaneki felt the same way. His melancholic eyes glanced sadly at Touka.

"S-so... The other poem?" The ukaku ghoul quickly asked.

"The second one represents rebirth, the repeat of a cycle, to be specific love, like the seasons... There are happy times, sad times, but we all continue to live, because even if the bad times keep coming back... The good times will also come back... And even if people will be apart due to circumstances, the day will arrive when they're reunited again.

Touka wondered if life was pulling some kind of prank with her or her books, these poems were way to similar to her current situation. "Spring represents the blossoming of love? Summer the mutual feelings that have grown and accepted each other, while autumn and winter represent growing apart and the parting? And then it all repeats when spring arrives..."

Kaneki nodded. "See, you can do it."

"What stupid poems." The girl muttered. "As if it's really as easy as that."

"Yeah..." The man agreed.

They stared at the poems silently, their hands holding each other. Touka squeezed her her hand a bit, she felt afraid.

Kaneki noticed and gently pulled her on his lap, whispering reassuring words. "It's okay, I'll be there for you, even if I'm not by your side, I will always think of you. I promise I'll be back. I won't leave you alone."

Touka allowed her tears to fall for only a few second, when Kaneki kissed her cheeks, catching as many tears as possible.

"I'll miss you.."

"Me too."

Their faces met again, in a desperate need to stay close. Their tongues twisted gently and needy against each other. In the quiet apartment, the sounds of their beating hearts and soft moans, where the only things that broke through the silence. Arms wrapped around their bodies, not wanting to let go so soon, because they knew if they did, it would mean they were out of time. So they continued to engulf themselves in their kiss, wishing that time could stop for this moment...

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><p>As dawn had arrived, the sky was dyed in a beautiful orange-red. People were returning from their work, school or any other activities, back home, back to their families.<p>

Kaneki walked through the desolate street of the sixth ward. Eyes hardly focused on anything except ahead of him. Where others returned home, he left home. From the bright, peaceful world to the world of survival, fights and carnage. He wondered if Touka would be fine, if she wouldn't feel too lonely in her apartment. He hoped she wasn't breaking apart, that she continued her daily life like she did before.

_'Maybe I made a mistake by coming, but I can't turn back now, I won't. This selfish me, will keep going forward, because I know, when all is over she'll be still waiting for me.'_

Love sprouts during spring, during the summer it has blossomed and shines brightly, until autumn takes it away and leaves it bleeding in winter, but just as the seasons, it will sprout and blossom again when spring arrives.

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><p>After-note about the chapter: I wrote this chapter during the week that episode one of Tokyo Ghoul √A. After seeing the ending and hearing Seasons die one after another for the first time I got such a rush of inspiration. You guys probably noticed with the poem, since it was a reference to the ending song of season 2. Really I have no idea how I got that idea for the poem, it just appeared... I really wanted to just write some Touken time, after all the suspense I put you guys through. XD So let's say that this one and the previous chapter are a make up for my actions. But hey, good stories need to be built first and after all the shit Kaneki had gone through yeah he'd yearn for some intimate contact, not that intimate he just got together with Touka. Kaneki would be the type of person who'd want to take his time, and because of his mindset and decision, I don't think he'd return to Anteiku to be with Touka. We've seen it in the manga, so yeah he's more selfish here because that's what I wanted to bring forth. hen he's with Touka I think his selfishness gets worse, he can't see other possibilities, except the one he deems to be the only solution. As for Touka, well she's happy he didn't disappear completely, he came back, for her. Even if he did change, his love for her and gentleness didn't. She loves him because he's a sweet and caring person and he still is with his friends, so that little bit that's left of Kuroneki, shell try to keep that part alive. Thought we know that she loves Shironeki too because he's still Kaneki, but she is lamenting about what happened to him and her ignorance for not knowing what had happened to him. The only thing you can do in such a situation is try to ease the pain. As Hinami stated in the manga, Kaneki is the happiest when he's with Touka and that happiness is what you'll be reading about in the majority of the future chapters, of course there will be downfalls, like the poem says, but they'll get through those bad times too. :)<p>

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Please leave a review to support me and maybe some wet towel, for my exploding brains...

Status: Near-death x.x

Dreamingflower logging off...


	10. Selfish

Another fast update guys! And it's all thanks to your support that I could revise this quickly! Wow we're already at ten chapters already and I started this story about month and a half ago. *sniff sniff* Time goes so fast... I still miss Christmas!

Let's answer to the anonymous reviewers, since I can't pm you guys. XD

akizaki114: Me too, they're such a tragic couple, but aside from all the tragic and sad moments, they also had a lot of warm moments, some were shown in the manga, others in the light novel... which I have no clue what the details are, because I can't read Japanese, nor have I ordered any of the 3 books... I need to save money after Christmas... so... Also the translated chapters on tumblr are mostly unfinished and the Anteiku chapters haven't been translated yet... oww well... maybe one day, when it's translated into English I'll read it.

Thanks to any one else who has read the story, favourite, followed... yada yada yada. You will always have my gratitude! Kisses and a big hug from this fangirl!

Now about the release of the other remaining chapters... Only 2 people have actually given their opinion... and ironically it ended in a draw... so yeah I haven't gotten very far... So if any of the others will please tell me if they want me to publish the remaining chapters in one turn or they have the patience for me to update it slower... please tell me. I feel like being stuck on a island with nowhere to go. XD

Enjoy your chapter.

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><p>Selfish<p>

The first thing what happened when Kaneki retuned from Touka's place, was getting bombarded with questions by Banjou and the others who were curious about his whereabouts and the sudden new clothes he was wearing. Kaneki had just shrugged it off and said he went to check something out which ended up differently than what he predicted. He knew they respected his privacy and didn't pry any further, but Hinami... She knew her brother figure very well, also her great sense of smell made it harder to hide the truth.

"You visited onee-chan?!" The girl asked curiously. After the white-haired ghoul had returned to his chamber, with the younger ghoul following behind.

Kaneki scratched his back awkwardly. "I just went to check up on her a little."

"You smell of onee-chan..." Hinami countered. "And what happened to the clothes you wore yesterday?"

Kaneki was silent. Not sure what to say. "I spent the night with Touka-chan..."

The two ghouls heard a thump in front of the door. When the white-haired male opened the door, he saw Banjou on the floor and his face completely red. "Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen in, it's just that the information we were waiting for arrived just moments ago, so I wanted to tell you..."

"It's alright." Kaneki reassured his friend.

Banjou nodded. He stared at the half-ghoul and grinned. "But Kaneki, I wouldn't have guessed..."

The half-ghoul raised his eyebrow in confusion. "What?"

Banjou stood up, cleaned some non-existent dust from his pants and gave the shorter man a hug, which made Kaneki feel uncomfortable and startled. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

Kaneki eyed Hinami for an explanation, but she seemed as confused as him and only shook her head as a response.

"What's happening?" Jiro asked as he, Ichimi and Sante came upstairs.

"Our Kaneki has become a man!" Banjou exclaimed proudly. "It's hard to believe that it's with Ayato's sister of all people. She gives off this scary, cold vibe like her brother." The ghoul shivered slightly at the memory. "And she has a nasty tongue, but if you're happy with her. We'll be supportive!"

Jiro, Ichimi and Sante stared at each other and cheered. "Lucky bastard!"

They also hugged Kaneki and suddenly the white-haired male felt as if a switch flickered on inside his mind, when he finally understood what they meant. "Ah, that didn't happen. I just slept on her couch."

The four other ghouls quiet down as they slowly released their leader who got back on his feet, feeling slightly awkward at the misunderstanding. Hinami also seemed to catch on the meaning of Banjou's statement and blushed.

"You slept on her couch?" Banjou repeated, hoping he heard it right.

"Yeah," He decided to leave everything else out. There was no need to tell any details. It was between him and Touka. "It was late, so I spent the night at her apartment, but nothing happened."

Kaneki could see that they wanted to ask more, since he hasn't explained much, not even why he was at Touka's place. Hinami had a face that understood what and why that had happened, but she stayed quiet about it. "Banjou-san, could you maybe show me what we talked about earlier." She asked.

"Huh? Oh sure." He turned towards Kaneki, feeling really embarrassed. "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding."

"It's alright. I'll take a look at what Tsukiyama has send us. We'll discuss the contents later when he arrives and decide our next action afterwards."

Banjou nodded. He, Sante, Jiro and Ichimi went downstairs, while Hinami, turned to her brother figure. "I'm happy for both you and onee-chan." She smiled. "Please don't make her sad again like last time."

"Thank you and don't worry, I won't." Kaneki answered as he returned to his room and closed the door. Hinami finally went downstairs where the four ghouls were sitting in the living room.

"So, what do you think happened?" Sante asked curiously.

"Who knows." Ichimi answered. "Only Kaneki-san knows..."

"Onii-chan probably felt guilty." Hinami answered. She took a seat next to Banjou. "So he went to onee-chan to make her feel better."

"Where they close?"

"Nn. Onii-chan came by often to help me with my kanji and onee-chan with her homework. Sometimes he'd visited for other reasons, but onee-chan always enjoyed his company, as onii-chan enjoyed hers."

Banjou was quiet and stared at the direction where Kaneki's room was. "Let's hope that they can enjoy each other's company for a while longer."

* * *

><p>Kaneki laid on his bed, gaze focused on the white ceiling, thoughts completely somewhere else. The face Touka had when she saw him again; there were so many emotions in those eyes; shock, confusion, disbelief, sadness, anger, but buried deep within all those emotions he noticed something else; happiness. When she broke down into sobs Kaneki hardly had any idea what to do, the anger in her voice hit him hard and the pain... his mind had gone blank, so the only thing he could do was hold her, while she released all her bottled up feelings, her sadness. He was relieved when she had calmed down, but it seemed to him like she was still holding back something, unspoken words that were at the edge of her tongue, waiting to be released, but she didn't. She kept quiet. He wondered if he should have asked her. Aside from the time they had spent together, there was still a lot he didn't know about her, then again she didn't know a lot about him either.<p>

It hadn't been even a day since he returned and he missed the ukaku ghoul already. The smell of her hair, her soft skin, her voice, her touch, those soft lips, the look in her eyes. But he couldn't be any more greedy than he already was. He had seen her already, he got to talk to her and more than what he had actually imagined.

First, he had to focus on what was important at the moment, his plans... And afterwards could he return to being selfish again.

The nineteen year-old stared at the document and decided to read it. "... I really don't understand woman..." He muttered.

Seeing Touka angry and letting out her frustrations was normal, since it wasn't something rare to behold with that temper of hers, but sometimes she would get angry for no reason only to become depressed later which followed by locking herself away from the outside world and hiding herself in her sanctuary that was her room. She had done it quite some times during his time working at Anteiku, but he never figured out the reason. Maybe if he knew more, he could avoid any other future outbursts of the female ghoul. Probably not, but maybe they'd be less frequent.

Banjou's words ran through the 19 year-old's head. Him and Touka... To say that he didn't feel at least a little embarrassed by the misunderstanding would be a lie, but things weren't as easy as they sounded. There were boundaries he knew he shouldn't cross and 'that' was one of them. Visiting Touka was actually one he shouldn't have crossed either, nor getting so intimate with her, but even as a guy there was so much he could take. Also, he felt guilty after leaving her, while he had promised her, that he wouldn't leave her alone after he had saved her from Ayato's attack. It was almost impossible to get the image of her face out of his head. He wanted to apologize, comfort her so badly and after seeing her again after all those weeks... made it only worse. People are selfish and so was he, no matter after what masked he tried to hide his actions.

He knew that he couldn't drag her into his world and he wouldn't. He didn't want her to see his feral side, the blood thirsty monster that he had turned into. The ghoul that would erase everything that would stand in his way with no mercy, but he refused to let go of her and allow her to continue her life with so much freedom. At least part of her was his, his and no one else's, just as a part of him was hers and hers alone. He wouldn't allow anyone to mess with her, not that he was worried about that. Touka was the type of person who'd scare away anyone who would piss her off and he had enough memories about those moments; the first was after he just had found out that he had become a half ghoul, when an old man tried to molest her, so she killed him without mercy. Then there was that other time, when he started to work at Anteiku. Some drunken guys tried to pick her up, but her foul mood had warned them enough to stay away from her for the rest of their lives and the night after he had left Anteiku, when he decided to check up on her from afar. A smile crept on his face as he remembered the comical scene.

No matter how selfish he is, he didn't regret his decision one bit and he wouldn't in the future either. Because he knew; only she could make him smile and truly feel happy. That's why he allowed himself to be selfish, because who knows how long it would last.

* * *

><p>After-note about the chapter: You think it's funny if I tell you that I wrote this after I've written the chapter that will come after this one? I decided to switch their released, because it would make more sense with the timeline. Also we all want to get into Kaneki's mind, right? He's just filled with mysteries! I wanted to give this chapter a bit more humour to wash away all the sadness and angst from the other chapters... not that we can get rid of it completely with an angsty manga. I also wanted to give a more profound description about Kaneki's thought about his stay at Touka's and his view on their relationship. That's why I named this chapter selfish, because he took another selfish decision, which he reflects upon... not really. I believe in a way that Kaneki could be somewhat possessive due to his abandonment issues, we all know, his are worse than Touka's and now that he and Touka are in a relationship he won't feel lonely anymore. Then we go back to his selfishness of not wanting to be alone; he'll do anything to keep that new feeling of comfort and love and of course other guys near Touka would be out of the question. Not that he would show it because as stated in the story, he knows Touka's 'lovely' personality. XD But his thoughts won't hide it and that's what we can enjoy! Also Banjou and the other's deserve to appear too because they're awesome! Especially Hinami! The shipper on deck! I love her soo much! Another note also that this chapter will signal how the support and commends of others can influence a person with his her future decisions. How you want to know? Well you'll just have to wait for it. :)

Thank you for your time and please leave a review to share some advice, feedback, your thoughts and your opinion on the release of the remaining chapters.

I'm going to bed now good night everyone! Hasta la próxima vez!


	11. A Woman's Heart

Yaay another chapter! Revising and all done! Not sure what I'll have to say here...

First of all; I'm suuuuuper exited! I got a invitation for an interview to go on exchange to Japan! I really hope I won't screw it up Because it's like a dream come true! JAAAPAAAAAANNN!

Okay all enthusiasm aside; thanks everyone for the reviews etc, your support keeps my mind from breaking, I'm serious.

Faith: Haha it's out now! I couldn't post it sooner because well now that college has started I don't have that much free time. But I'm still doing my best, better late than never.

So after the many answers about my publish question, the majority asked for a steady update, so I won't release the other chapter today. But probably later this week.

On the bright side... I finished another chapter, luckily I started working on it Saturday so I was halfway through Monday. I hope I can keep this writing speed, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do it.

Now please enjoy, I guess all of you are soo thirsty for more Touken, I am too, I keep checking this site every day, hoping to read something I haven't read yet.

PS: Play Accidentally in love from Counting Crows for more enjoyment!

* * *

><p>A woman's heart<p>

Touka was staring out of the window, admiring the view her school grounds provided. Her school year was almost over, but she wasn't feeling nervous for her final year at all. She had studied very hard this year and she was planning to work even harder for her third year. Her eyes caught the cherry blossom tree standing in the middle of the school ground. The flowers were beginning to sprout already, little pink buds were visible on the tree, announcing the arrival of spring.

"... Beautiful..."

Her mind strayed away from her vision, as memories from weeks ago submerged in her conscious. Her gaze stayed frozen on the tree, not even paying attention to her surroundings. She recalled clearly the intoxicating taste of his lips and his soft voice whispering in her ears, the feeling of his hands slowly caressing her face and those eyes, which gave her the feeling as if he was piercing through her soul, unravelling every feelings and secrets she held.

"Touka-chan!"

"Eh?" The almost senior high school girl snapped back into reality. "Ah Yoriko, is there something wrong?" She asked, quickly hiding her rushing feeling of nervousness and trying to calm down her raging beating heart.

"I was asking you that the whole time. You've been spacing out a lot lately and you stare at things for no apparent reason. Not only that, but you seem happier too, you're smiling a lot lately... Did anything good happen?" The blonde's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

The ghoul's cheeks reddened slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh god, it's about that co-worker of yours, right?! Did you confess?! Did he confess? Or is it something else? I was really worried the last few weeks, since you were all sad, gloomy and depressed. I though he rejected you or that you had a fight."

"I keep telling you, I wasn't feeling very well during that time!" Touka protested. "And why do you think it's about him?"

"You've been staring at the window for a long time and smiling like some... love-struck... okay, not love-struck, but like a person who got reunited with her/ his loved one. You smile more genuinely, not the ones that you usually give, when you pretend to be interested in something, but real smiles, that come from inside you and I've caught you blushing a lot and last but not least you're spacing out very day! You hardly pay any attention in the class, you're doodling... Strange pictures instead of taking notes. Those are the major signs for any girl in love!" Yoriko finished in a dramatic way. "My Touka-chan is in love! I knew it! I'm so happy for you! Who would have known that Kirishima Touka would fall in love! Especially with a guy who studies and loves literature; something you completely despise and don't understand!"

"Please be quiet and don't say any nonsense!" Touka tried desperately to calm her energetic friend down. She was in no mood to draw any unnecessary attention. Kaneki probably didn't want to get spotted when he visited her, so she should do her best to cover for him. "Seriously, you called me just to rant about my behaviour?"

"Ah, I almost forgot!" Yoriko exclaimed as she quickly sat down. "They're going to open a new swimming pool in a few weeks and I thought that we could go together!"

Touka gulped. Swimming, she never had the privilege to learn how to swim, since she was too busy with surviving and chasing off annoying pests who tried to hurt her or her brother. Then there's the part where the majority of the ghouls, never bother learning such trivial things, since it wouldn't be of any use to them. "I... don't have a swim suit..."

"We can always buy you one! That's one of the great things about swimming! The moment when you buy a swimsuit with your friends or do you prefer buying one with your boyfriend?" The blonde grinned. "Also isn't it about that that you introduce him to me?"

"We're not like that and he's very busy, he doesn't have that much free time than he used to have..."

"University keeps you very busy, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Fine I get it, but in return... we'll go swimsuit shopping and you'll have to tell me everything that happened!"

"I'm telling you, nothing happened." The female ghoul persisted.

Yoriko pouted and wanted to continue her prodding, but the teacher walked in that moment, announcing the start of their next class. "Fine," She sighed in defeat. "But when classes are over I won't let you get away." She declared.

"I have to work." Touka reminded her, happy how her part-time job had saved her from many awkward or annoying confrontations.

She could see her friend sighing in disappointment. "Fine, but you have to tell me sometime! That's what friends are for!"

The ukaku ghoul knew that she couldn't escape this and gave in. "Alright, I'll call you when I have time."

And with that their attention turned towards the teacher, but it didn't take long before the teenager returned her gaze outside, back at the Cherry-blossom tree, her mind completely indulges in memories of Kaneki...

* * *

><p>During her shift at Anteiku, the routine repeated itself all over again. During breaks; Touka would gaze, at whatever was in front of her and smile absent-mindedly. All the employees sent glances at the female ghoul, wondering why the sudden change of mood, after all the sour, gloomy state she was before.<p>

"Touka, is everything alright?" Irimi asked in a concerned voice.

The said girl, looked up from the table she was cleaning, obviously confused by the question. "Sure, why not?"

"It's just that your mood seems to have become more brighter compared to a month ago. Did something happen?"

Touka stared at her. Since when was she such an open book? She should be more careful. The girl sighed and shook her head. "Not really, it's just I'm a bit nervous, I'll be in my senior year soon and that means I'll have to prepare and study very hard for the entrance exams."

The other female nodded with a glint in her eyes. "I see, I guess that's something to be nervous about. I never went to school, so I can't know exactly what it's like, but... It's hard, knowing that you won't see your friends that often when you go to university..."

A glint of nostalgia filled them both. "Yeah, it's not easy, knowing you can't see your friends..."

"So, which university do you plan to apply for? I know everyone has been asked, but I'm also curious."

Touka rubbed her arm nervously. "Uhm, I've been checking around and I think I want to attempt Kami university and study biology..."

A smirk appeared on Irimi's lips. "I see, well that would be a hard choice. I'm not very familiar with universities, but if he attended that university, it must be quite good."

"Yeah..."

The two stood silent for a while; the older female ghoul, watched the younger one, while the ukaku ghoul felt more and more uncomfortable under her senior's gaze. "Uhm, we should continue with cleaning." Touka started as she continued with her work. "Or else we'll be here till late in the evening."

"Sure, I'll get us a drink. You must be thirsty after all the hard work."

Irimi quickly went upstairs, which Touka found odd, since she could just prepare the coffee with the machine.

The SS ranked ghoul turned left and opened the door, she heard a thud and looked at the ground, where Enji and

Nishiki, who was cursing at the older ghoul for making him fall and Roma were laying. Obviously, they tried to listen in.

I expected more from you Roma." The ukaku ghoul raised her eyebrows. "As a woman yourself, you should understand how much we don't like it when others try to take a peek on a private conversation."

Roma scratched her back awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"Well?" Enji asked. "Do you know what's wrong with our little rabbit?"

Irimi smiled. "Let's just say that a woman's heart is more profound than you two guys can understand."

She walked over to her bag, when she took out two black ice-coffee and went back to the door.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Nishiki asked.

"How about you ask your human girlfriend? I bet she would know." Irimi smirked.

She went back to the waiting ukaku ghoul, leaving the two males pondering over what she said and Roma blushing at the meaning of Irimi's words.

"A woman's heart, huh?" Enji muttered.

"You don't think she..." Nishiki wondered.

"Hah, there is nothing more romantic than a secret rendezvous between two young people." Enji smiled. "The little rabbit is really easy to figure out."

"The idiot." The bikaku ghoul muttered.

Roma looked at the two questionably. "What is it? Is there someone Touka likes? Who? You guys know who it is?!"

"Let's just say we knew about it for a while." Enji smiled, while he and Nishiki left the room. Leaving the newest member more curious.

"Please tell me! I won't tell a soul!"

A woman's heart is similar to lot of things; an ocean, fast with a never ending horizon and deep blue waves that can suck everything down when storm arrives, mysterious and complicated like a labyrinth, with it's never ending paths and complicated passages, if you're not careful enough, you could get lost, while trying to understand it, fickle like ice on a warm winter day, if not treated carefully it can break apart with ease and leave a hole that's almost impossible to mend, but it also burns with passion and love. So, even if all Touka can do is wait, she knows that they will be together again in the future.

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><p>After-note about the chapter: Haha I just love those meaningful; poetic sentence idk, they give a sense of... truth, mystery? I think this is the brightest chapter off all! XD and practically one of the simplest themes ever; a girl in love. Come on even Touka has her girlish sides, thoughts she hardly shows it, so here we have it in the most cutest way possible! I think this is an important chapter, because not only do we see how much Touka's changing in a good way, also her more humane heart! No matter how badass she is, she's still a living being with feelings. I've never seen cherry blossoms before, except on the internet and it really looks beautiful. Also spring, cherry blossoms is something I can definitely socialize with new young love. Another ting I thought about was character! I had to write some of Anteiku and Yoriko, because they're awesome and it shows how close they are with Touka, because no matter how good you are at pretending and acting, those who've been around you for so long can still see the change in attitude.

Well I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thank you for your time reading this story and please leave your thoughts here. :)


	12. Passing Leaves

Ahahaha! As I promised the next chapter is up! Finally! Damn classes really have been hard on me. I'm so tired I actually need coffee to function properly and once I'm functioning properly, I function like a robot going berserk! I'm all happy I always ask questions and take notes eagerly. Well it does help with my IGO & INGO's classes, which starts quite early... around 9:00. At least the teacher knows me now. XD So... I'm very busy, I got a school project to work on, essays to write, study, more essays, career development activities. So yeah veeerryyy busy. I haven't even started on a new chapter... so yeah sorry guys. After this one, there's 1 chapter ready to publish and after that let's pray I find to time to write chapter 14.

But the good new, my interview went well, so I'm very happy your prayers and support have reached the heavens. The teacher said that I'd definitely be in the top list with my motivation. Gosh I'm soo happy! My other friends who also had an interview for Japan also passed so yaaaayy!

Anyway, I wanna thank everyone! I've almost reached 100 followers. Yeah I'd never imagine that this story would become so popular! So Lots of thanks and kisses and hugs of course, your encouragements encouraged me soo much and inspired me too!. So as a thank you I'll be publishing a little surprise for you guys, so just go check my account a bit later. I won't reveal what it is, since it's a surprise.

Also happy Valentine's day! For the ones who haven't read my one-shot, go check it out! It's a SasakixTouka fic this time.

Review reply(s):

ravenbaskerville: Aww thank you. *blushes* hopefully you'll be satisfied with this chapter.

Alright, on with the story!

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><p>Passing leaves<p>

Time passes like leaves falling throughout the seasons, you blink for a second and before you know it, its over. Touka agreed with that, she had been studying and studying and before she realized it, classes had passed and she was enjoying the start of her vacation. She knew that things would become very busy when she enters her senior year. But the girl had the feeling that today would have been more nerve wreaking than preparing for her final exams and university.

The ukaku ghoul gulped as she stared wide-eyed in front of her. She had never felt so nervous in her life. Why did she agreed to this again? Se closed her eyes and took a nervous breath, which she didn't let go until she felt a pair of hands on her shoulder. She looked up at the man who gave her a worried glance. "Are you sure?" He asked.

Touka nodded, determination in her eyes. "Lets get this over with."

* * *

><p>A few days earlier...<p>

"You want me to help you with what?" Kaneki asked surprised.

He was sitting on her couch, reading a book, while the female ghoul sat next to him. Eyes filled with nervousness and panic. "Well, Yoriko has invited me to go swimming with her." Touka mumbled. "But, but... I've never done anything like that before... Swimming I mean... I know it's much to ask... But I want you to teach me how to swim!"

The half-ghoul stared at the girl for a while, surprised at her odd unsuspecting request. Before he noticed it, he let out a chuckle.

"D-Don't you dare to laugh!" The 17 year-old hollered. Maybe she should have looked online for advice after all.

"No, don't get me wrong. I was just surprised." The white-haired man admitted.

Touka felt her body crumble from embarrassment. "I just want to enjoy the time I have with Yoriko..." She admitted, I don't go out a lot as you've already figured out and I just want to... Well enjoy some days like regular high school students would..."

Kaneki's eyes soften as he gazed into Touka's eyes. "Alright." He declared.

Touka looked surprised and gave the man a confused glance. "Huh?"

"I'll do it. I'll teach you how to swim. But you need a swimsuit and focus on your studies first. So, how about we'll meet the day after you finish your last classes of the year at the swimming pool near the mall."

Still surprised at Kaneki's answer, the girl nodded absent-mindedly.

* * *

><p>So after that day Touka had focused almost all her attention on school, she was dragged by Yoriko to go swimming suit hunting as her friend named it a few days ago. It was the most awkward thing she had done in her entire life. That and that Yoriko kept choosing revealing bikinis, because if she ever would go swimming with (the gloomy idiot) Kaneki, she'd had to leave a good impression. To which the girl protested very hard, since in her opinion, the purpose of a swimming suit was to swim in it, not attract attention, that was something that she definitely didn't need.<p>

Kaneki took Touka by the hand and led her inside the building. He was wearing a wig to not draw any attention to himself, but the girl wondered if it was such a good idea since they were going to swim and there would be a change that it would be washed away by the water.

"You can change in here, I'll be in the other one." The half-ghoul pointed out.

The blue-haired teen looked suspiciously at the changing rooms, before nodding at him and closing the door of the small space.

Touka didn't know if the reason for her uncomfortable feeling was because she was going to swim for the first time or was it because she was going to do something aside from her normal conversations with Kaneki... A... Date would they call this? No, it was just a private swimming lesson from the person she likes, a lesson that would probably be very humiliating for her. She told herself.

The female ghoul snapped out of her thoughts, she wouldn't get anywhere by fussing about it. So without any more hesitation, she took off her shirt and everything else and quickly took out her bikini from her bag.

* * *

><p>Kaneki was waiting outside the locker rooms for Touka to arrive. To be honest, he didn't knew what to think of being in the open public of the 20th ward. After all, he's been through and done... The peace felt odd to him. There was no need to sneak around or devour, no need to be on guard, just... Normal... He wasn't nervous at all, after all, for most of his life he lived a danger free life, so he knew how to behave, but it still felt odd, especially since he hardly had set foot in a swimming pool at all. When he was younger, Hide would drag him from time to time to swim with him, but since his last 2 high school years and university days he was too busy with studying, finishing assignments and reading.<p>

The half-ghoul looked up when he heard the door of Touka's changing room closing. The girl had wrapped herself in a towel, clearly not used to it. She glanced at the man. "Who would have thought that months ago you were such a scrawny guy, who couldn't even give a punch."

Kaneki looked down at his own body. He had been training hard since his escape, his chest and stomach became toned over the days, the scar he had gotten from the operation was still visible. "I've been training more."

Touka nodded, she walked over to the man and stopped. "Now, let's get this over with." She mumbled.

"Sure." The white-haired teen answered. "Lets store your clothes in the locker first."

Touka, was slightly confused, but didn't ask. She grabbed her clothes and shoes and placed them in one of the nearby lockers, which Kaneki locked after placing a coin in it and taking the key with him.

"The probability that belongings get stolen in swimming pools is very high." The half-ghoul explained. "So it's better to store them away."

Touka nodded in understanding and followed the man out of the room and entered the swimming area. To the ukaku ghoul's horror, there were a lot of people at the pool. 'Why are there so many people?' She thought.

"It's probably worse during summer vacation." Kaneki explained. "I guess because vacation has started for the most of them, that its very crowded today."

Touka kept staring at the mass of people uncomfortably, until she noticed Kaneki holding his hand out for the girl to take. "Don't worry, the water won't bite and no one would pay much attention to you and you better place your towel somewhere, unless you plan to swim with it."

The ukaku ghoul nodded slowly, before taking off the towel. She was wearing a stripped two piece, the diagonal dark purple and black stripes adorned both her top and pants and a black small bow her her bikini bra together. To be honest, this was chosen due to her and Yoriko's compromise during their shopping day, it wasn't as revealing as Yoriko had hoped, but it wasn't completely Touka's style either. It could be worse; was what she decided. The female ghoul noticed the half-ghoul's eyes on her. "What?!" She barked, mostly due to her nervousness, but also due to irritation.

"Ah, nothing, it's just... It looks really good on you." The male commented.

Her cheeks turned slightly rosy. "... Thanks... So are we going in, or what?"

Kaneki nodded and led her to a place where they could start their private swimming class without getting disturbed.

* * *

><p>For Touka this was the hardest and most embarrassing thing she had ever endured. Yes, she would even make such a fuss if Kaneki were to see her in her underwear, but now, she felt like a helpless child, which she absolutely despised.<p>

"Try to relax your body a bit more and don't move your legs so frantically." Kaneki instructed.

"I'm trying, but this impossible!" The ukaku ghoul wined. She quickly stopped with her actions and sat on the sidelines in frustration.

"You want to do this for your friend, don't you?" The half-ghoul asked.

"Yes... But."

Kaneki placed his hand over her mouth to silence her. "Just don't think about anything else, except for Yoriko-chan. There's no need to be embarrassed." He took her hand and gently pulled her back into the water. "I'll guide you." He murmured softly.

The teenager felt her cheeks heat up upon feeling his warm breath on her skin. Oh god this is going to be harder than she thought it would be.

After a few more minutes of hopeless attempts on Touka's side. They decided to take a small break.

"I suck at this!" The girl grumbled as she sank down on her knees, the water barely touching her chin.

Kaneki looked down at the sulking girl. "It's nothing to be ashamed about." He answered. "Everyone would be like that when they're just starting. Besides, you have improved."

The ukaku ghoul glanced at the half-ghoul. He was staring at the unsuspecting humans, they were enjoying their days as if it's the most normal thing in the world. For them it is at least. It made it seem as if all that fighting, all the pain that's present in the world, was only a mere dream. But both knew otherwise.

His expression turned slightly gloomy as he wandered of in his own thoughts, which for some reason made Touka feel uncomfortable. So she is what should be... Appropriate in her eyes. She quickly grabbed his wrists and pulled him into the water.

Shocked, the only response Kaneki could give was a gasp as his eyes widen and a splash was heard. The teen quickly resurfaced from the water and coughed several times, his wig was drenched, but luckily didn't fall from his head. "Touka-chan, what...?"

"We're supposed to enjoy it together, also your face looked as if you were asking for someone to push you inside the pool." She answered with a proud expression on her face. "And don't worry, it'll dry sooner or later." She added, obviously referring to the half-ghoul's wig.

A small smiled crept on his face. He grabbed her hand and pulled Touka closer to him and planted a small kiss on her lips. The blue-haired girl blushed slightly. "Thank you and you're right. How about we continue our swimming lessons?"

"As long as you won't stand there like an idiot. And don't even think of doing that in public again! We shouldn't attract too much attention."

"Too much attention?" The male mused. "It's not rare to see two people display their affection in public. Besides, everyone is too occupied with their own activities." Kaneki pointed out as he planted a kiss on her forehead, slowly tracing them down until he met her lips again.

The ukaku ghoul had to muster all her willpower to break free from the kiss. "Swimming lesson's first." She reminded him.

Kaneki nodded as he kissed her forehead one more time. "Alright, now please follow my instructions carefully and don't forget to relax your body.

Touka nodded as she repeated the movements she had been practising earlier. Little by little she was improving. "Look Kaneki, I can already..."

Before Touka could finish a ball hit her face and she nearly hit her head against the wall from the surprise. The tomboy quickly emerged from the water and started to cough and gag.

"Touka-chan... Are you alright?" Kaneki asked.

Touka continued to cough. "I think I swallowed some water... Ugh... I'm not feeling so good..."

"My ball!"

Kaneki and Touka looked up to see a five year old boy running up to them, followed by some other kids around the same age and a woman, who probably was their guardian. The child quickly grabbed his ball and glanced towards the ukaku ghoul. "Onee-san, are you alright?" His expression was filled with guilt. "Did the ball hurt you?"

"Kei, what did I say about throwing the ball too hard? Ah, I'm so sorry for my little brother's behaviour. Are you alright? You look a bit sick."

"I think she swallowed the water from the swimming pool on accident." Kaneki explaining.

Touka was too busy trying to fight the quickly growing nausea. "I think I'm going to throw up." She mumbled weakly.

"The toilets are near the doors on the left..." The woman explained, but as soon as Touka heard the word toilet, she ran with inhuman speed to her salvation.

"... Uhm."

"She has a weak stomach." The half-ghoul said. "As a result, she becomes nauseous, very often. You could say it became likes reflex to her."

"I see. Again, I apologies for Kei's behavior, he's a very impatient boy and he tends to be reckless." The woman eyed her younger brother strictly, who flinched at his sister's glare.

"I'm sorry... I won't cause trouble anymore. I promise."

"Don't worry about it." Kaneki smiled. "Children are always restless. I'm going to see how my girlfriend is doing." The man said as he quickly followed the direction the ukaku ghoul had run to."

It wasn't anything fun at all. Honestly, Touka wasn't sure if this was any worse than Yoriko's food. She couldn't stop the waves of nausea and the vomiting that continued on. Her stomach felt horrible, her head hurt and she wondered, if this was how people who were close to drowning felt. She had already figured that the swimming pool water was different from the regular water, due to the smell that was burning her nostrils, but this was outrageous.

"Touka-chan, are you feeling better?" She heard Kaneki's voice from behind the toilet.

The teen couldn't answer immediately. She was breathing madly and that terrible feeling was present in her stomach. After a few more seconds of silence, vomiting and madly gasping, she finally calmed down and flushed the toilet. The teen opened the door slowly, head popping out. "... I think I've had enough swimming for today..." She mumbled weakly.

The ringaku ghoul nodded in understanding. "Let's go back." He said as he grabbed the girl and allowed her to lean on him while they retreated to the changing rooms.

* * *

><p>"Never again, am I going to swim in the middle of the day." The female ghoul grumbled as they made their way to her apartment.<p>

Kaneki was carrying Touka on his back, who was still feeling too sick to walk properly without the feeling that her stomach would disintegrate, accompanied with another wave of nausea. "It depends on where you swim." He answered. "As you noticed the swimming pools are always split into different pools; shallow for the infants and less experienced swimmers, those are mostly used for swimming classes, then you have the deeper swimming pools for the average swimmers, be it kids, elders or adults and the deep pools, those are meant for the experienced swimmers. Some have outdoor pools too, mostly the bigger ones."

"Did you use to swim often?" Touka asked, curiosity clearly present in her tone.

"Not that much, I had a few swimming classes when I was small and sometimes I had school trips to a swimming pool, but that's about it."

"You know... You can let me down already. My breath stinks and no sane person would stay this close." Touka mumbled awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it, I know worse." The half-ghoul reassured her. His mind returned to the days he was held hostage in Aogiri. The stench Yamori's torture room had when he entered. It smelled like rotten meat, dried up blood; ghoul blood of course and something else that made his nose twitch in disgust by just the thought of it. He had to endure the smell for about ten days, so Touka's breath was doing little to him now.

"Are you alright?"

Touka's voice snapped the man out of his memories. He turned to her and gave her a smile. "Yeah, I was just... Lost in my thoughts. Why?"

"We're near my apartment." She pointed out.

He hadn't noticed it at all. If it wasn't for Touka he'd probably pass the building without notice. "Oh..."

Upon arriving at Touka's door, the girl handed over her house keys. Kaneki walked in, silently and laid the girl down on the couch. The ukaku girl, quickly got up and walked into her bathroom, more than eager to get rid of her smelly breath.

Kaneki decided to get some coffee for the both of them. By the time he placed the cups on the table, Touka came out of the bathroom. Face looked completely refreshed. The smell of vomit had completely disappeared and the terrible taste of the swimming pool water was stinging slightly in her throat.

The girl mumbled a thank you as he gave her her coffee. They drank their coffee in silence, like they mostly did, but there was something that was lurking in Touka's mind and she was dying to know the answer of it. "How long can you stay?"

Kaneki looked up at the girl, he didn't seem very surprised by the question, probably expecting she would ask sooner or later. "I'm not sure..."

She should have seen this coming. She never knew when he'd stop by. He just appears in front of her, when she isn't at work or with her friends of course. If there's one thing Touka had realized, then it's how unpredictable Kaneki had become. Sure, she couldn't read his mind before either, but at least she could detect when he was troubled and predict his clumsy actions. His face would give away. But now... He always had a troubled, painful look on his face.

Kaneki placed his hands over hers, when he noticed her tensing. The girl quickly snapped out of her thoughts and stared at the man across her. "I will stay today..." He reassured her.

She nodded, but the knot in her stomach wouldn't disappear, because she knew it was only for a short time, she'd have to watch his retreating back like last time, it made her heart ache when she looked at his retreating figure... Despite his choices... She couldn't help but notice his loneliness. The ukaku ghoul leaned over the table and kissed him affectionately. He returns her kiss eagerly. Lips touching gently but eagerly, sparks shot through Touka's entire body. She couldn't think or breath.

When Kaneki's tongue brushed against her lips, she was more than willing to grant him entrance. It felt rough against her smooth tongue. A mixture of Their tongues danced around each other, trying to find an opportunity to gain dominance. Sourness, spiciness, sweetness, many different flavours prickled their taste buds as they enjoyed each other's intimacy. Touka was surprised when she detected something odd she couldn't put her finger on, but that thought went down the drain quickly, as the female female ghoul gasped, when she felt his hand trailing down her body, until it rested just above her ass and thus gaining the upper hand. 'That bastard did it on purpose!' Before she could do anything a moan escaped her throat. Where did he learn to kiss so well?

They broke apart, after what seemed ages, for air. Kaneki shifted his attention to leave butterfly kisses on her neck.

"Thank you... For today." The seventeen year-old gasped. "Though, I had expected it would go differently, but I actually enjoyed myself."

The male stopped and gazed at the girl. "So, does that mean that you're going to continue practising?"

"Hell no, I don't want to have that disgusting taste in my mouth ever again!"

"Not even for Yoriko-chan?"

Touka's face turned into a look of discomfort. Would she really want her friend to see her in the condition she was in today...? This whole thing started because she didn't want her friend to find out that she had never swam before and spare Yoriko the guilt she would feel if she knew.

Kaneki smiled as he pulled the girl closer to him. "It's alright, I know things will be better next time."

"Hmm." Was the only answer she had.

For the rest of the day, they just stayed like that; on the ground, wrapped in each other's arms, sharing their happiness with crazy stories they had experienced. Be it the unusual tennis match Touka experienced during her last gym class, or Hinami's lousy attempt to cook because she wanted to know more about humans. Moments like these were the only ones, when they both could be at peace, because they would forget about the future, about reality and feel that for a short moment as if the world revolved only around each other. There they could leave their guard wide-open without a care and try to enjoy as much as possible, thought their love was still young and in its blossoming stage, time in reality would never stop and like the leaves, it would pass quickly from winter, to spring, to summer and autumn, where it'll start it's slumber and announce that another year nears its ending.

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><p>After-note about the chapter: What to say what to say... First of all, it's a development of an idea I got. I wanted to showcase daily life like moments and I always thought that most ghouls couldn't swim, because they're too busy with survive and running away from doves, to even try to learn. It was also a nice opportunity to give Touka and Kaneki some outdoor time together! Didn't end up like a normal date would be. Poor Touka she seems to be throwing up a lot, when will the bad luck stop? Maybe I should tone down my sadistic side. XD But Kaneki at least proves to be more than a capable boyfriend, right? One you would like to have yourself. When I was about 8 years old I swallowed pool water, when my sis toppled me under and yeah it was nothing fun, I threw up right there when I got out of the pool. I didn't even had the time to run to the bathroom, because it was so horrible. I don't really remembered what happened afterwards, but I think we went home. I didn't develop a fear for swimming pools, luckily. But I don't have time now to swim. Hah. The proto-title for this chapter was swimming classes, but I didn't like it, because it felt so unoriginal, so I decided to come up with something that had a deeper meaning, good thing I can always start rereading the first few sentences and the last few sentences of my chapter, because there are the key messages of the chapter. It reminds me of my presentation classes, because the beginning wraps up with the end. It's something my teacher told me to do with presentation and look it also applies to fanfics. XD<p>

Thank you for reading! I would love to have some feedback! Until... well later, since the surprise will also be published.


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